Long Road Home

This morning I woke up from my sleep after a disturbing dream ... I dreamt that I died. I have had dreams of my loved ones passing away and had consciously thought about how I'd die. This is the first I remember dreaming of myself dying. Sorry for this morbid tone.... In my dream I was suffering from a terminally illness and kind of dropped dead out of exhaustion. It was all very vivid, and I could sense I was so tired and only wanted to stop and sleep. So I simply lied down on the pavement, on the snow-covered ground. Yes, I do remember some of my dreams , most which are quite intense, like watching a movie! Don't know what triggered this dream, probably just the fact that the first week of this semester has been quite hectic and have not gotten back into the rhythm of things. Feeling a little exhausted, besides being overwhelmed by the workload ... I have a handful of papers due by end of Feb!

Besides, that I wonder if I'm the only one who sometimes feel very exhausted and tired with life; all the battles both external and internal, the latter being the more demanding ... and asked God, "How long more, O Lord?" Please don't misunderstand me. I love life and embrace this gift of life wholeheartedly. Yet there are times when I feel that it is a long road home and that life on this side of heaven, is not really home. I'm merely a sojourner, traveler and pilgrim passing this way through. When I see so much wickedness, brokenness in the world around me that is increasing in darkness everyday, I can't help but be reminded that these are signs that the end is very near. Thus like all good things, the novelty of this trip wears out after awhile and I can't wait to go home. Go back to the place where I know I belong and can finally have true and lasting peace. During such moments, songs like the one below, encourages me that He is with me, He will carry me and see me through this long road home!




Thought that I was all alone
Broken and afraid
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me

And I didn't even know
That I had lost my way
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me

'Til You opened up my eyes
I never knew
That I couldn't ever make it
Without You

Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

As I travel on the road
That You have lead me down
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
That You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me

I confess from time to time
I lose my way
But You are always there
To bring me back again

Sometimes I think of where it is I've come from
And the things I've left behind
But of all I've had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare
With what's in front of me
With what's in front of me

Words and music by Mac Powell & Brown Bannister / 2001 Vandura 2500 Songs (ASCAP) / New Spring, a division of Zomba Enterprises, Inc. (ASCAP). All rights for the US on behalf of Vandura 2500 Songs (ASCAP) administered by Zomba Enterprises, Inc. / Banistuci Music (ASCAP) (adm. by The Loving Company).

Behind the Song:
'We've all had those mountaintop experiences. You feel so close to God. You can see for miles. Vision galore. Then life happens, the valley, the struggles. We often think that the valley is a consequence for the sin of our life. But, maybe it's just our life. We're all promised struggle. We all experience suffering. The hope that we have is wonderfully expressed in this song. 'You were there with me.' We don't have to go through the inevitable trials of life on our own. Mac had penned this song a few years ago. This was the time to get it out with a little 3D juice. Much thanks to Ashley Cleveland for taking the song up a notch.' Tai Anderson (Third Day)