Caught in a snow storm

From an array of colours to white winter wonderland in a matter of weeks. It's very pretty and winter is officially here. It's perfectly timed for Advent and although we're still in November, can already feel Christmas in the air. It's been snowing for more than 24 hours straight and it doesn't look like it's stopping soon. Out here on campus we usually get more snow than downtown. The other university about 45 minutes away is located on a hill and have been covered with snow since last week. There's a weather warning to expect quite a bit of snowfall. Still this is very mild compare to the rest of Canada.

I've not mentioned this before but God's given me 3 fun loving young men as housemates this term. Having lived with 2 younger brothers, I feel totally at home being the only girl in this arrangement! Of course it helps that I also get the biggest room. It's been great getting to know them and we are able to sit together to have long theological discussions! The pictures taken with them in the link below is a moment of our community life together - all 4 of us watching Simpsons at midnight! It's that time of the term.

See more pics here.

God sneaks up in our culture through the arts

I attended a workshop-rehearsal with the Vancouver Bach Choir for their upcoming performance of Handel's Messiah. This would be a sing-along performance which would be interesting because the choir would be seated in the crowd instead of on the stage. I had a preview of the event and we were served coffee and snacks during the break. All this for free? I'd say it rarely gets better than that. I've watched the UBC Choir perform this piece last year, but the lecture that went along with the rehearsal opened to my eyes to understand what Handel was doing and appreciate it much better. More than one friend have told me they've have fallen asleep watching this performance on previous occasion, which I can understand it's hard going for some folks to be listening to this repertoire in a 3-hour sitting. But I think it's hard to sleep when you get to participate and sing along with the choir. It was a real treat to for me to be able to sing the Handel's Messiah and with such an awesome choir.

I found the exposition of the musical aspect very helpful, but the best part was theological discussion of how Handel was using music to express different emotions and his devotion. This was especially enlightening and it was a devotional experience for me although I was not sure if the conductor was a believer. I used to wonder if the singers realise or appreciate what they are singing, which is so loaded theologically. For the uninitiated, you can refer to the friendly Wikipedia site to find out more. It was amazing to see all these folks (choir has over 150 singers, excluding guests) sitting and listening the gospel being preached to them literally. From the birth of Christ, His passion and death for the sake of our sins, His glorification and the final judgment, it's all found in this piece. I felt like I was attending a lecture in Regent rather than a choir rehearsal. May these songs minister to the one who conducts, the musicians, singers as well as the audience who pay to listen to the gospel being sung! Does God have His way to bring His message to this very secular, almost anti-Christian culture? You bet!

Last week I attended a play entitled Life After God with my friends. This is based on a short story by Douglas Coupland (the guy who introduced the term Generation-X). It was a play about a few friends who graduated from the same high school and their 15th year reunion is coming up. The play deals with different issues through these characters depicting the struggles of 30-somethings, and for this play, they contextualised the story in Vancouver setting. The loneliness of the single, believing and fighting for a cause like Green Peace, having abundance of material things and looking like you've made it, getting through life with the aid of anti-depressants, the righteous religious who realised he's put his faith on the wrong thing ... basically spelling out what it means to be lost in a graphically honest manner. It was powerful and I could sense in the audience that many could identify with the characters, especially given its particular context. The play ends on a positive note where there was kind of re-birth/ baptism moment.

I found it so refreshing because unlike many presentations put up by the church, it feels as if we're compelled to 'resolve' the problem and provide the solution, informing the audience how they should conclude, what they should think and believe. Perhaps I'm somewhat influenced by post-modern thinking, but I think we need to trust our audience to have the capacity to reflect and that the Holy Spirit will lead them to truth about God. I think it's better to deal honestly with the issues at hand and address them seriously, rather than gloss over it in an almost pejorative manner. When we do the former, we tell the world that we are sinners too and can identify with the brokenness that is common in all humanity. When we do the latter and are eager to dish out 'solutions' (which is usually in terms of quick-fix and pat answers) it gives the impression that Christians don't really get the issue, think we're better than the rest, know it all or have all the solutions and can't wait to get people to change their mind and convert! It's arrogant and I'm not surprised if some, if not many, find it distasteful.

That's not to say that we leave out the gospel and all, but instead of simply 'preaching' it in terms of what people ought to believe, or more common, how they should behave (?!), we can share about how Christ has made a difference in our lives. We can testify about our own experience and lovingly extend an invitation for our friends to taste and see that He is as good as we claim. In fact I'd go as far to say that even if we don't conclude with a former proclamation of the gospel that's fine too. Just open up the conversation and do it so that instead of reacting to our message, if people would give thought to the issues raised and be willing to consider it deeper, then I think we've 'achieved' our goal. They can always approach friends and Christians to explore more about the Christian faith and the difference Christ makes in our lives, when they're ready and desire to find out more. There is a difference when we share our faith as individuals and perhaps perceived to be less dogmatic than if someone told them from the stage what they should believe. I believe this is because the individual who share his or her faith is doing it in the context of an established relationship and matters of faith is a personal one. If the church finds it too risky to leave things open ended, God still has a way to use 'secular' production to do the job... and He sneaks up on us that way.

Family of God

I want to thank all who've shared with me in my recent misfortune ... the many who've prayed, expressed sympathy, referred me to reliable computer dealers, offered to loan my a laptop, 'loan' softwares, use of scanner to scan from the hard copies of my work ... and on and on. I'm grateful for the love and concern expressed. The community here and in Regent is not large but it's big enough to feel distanced. Not being a community group in College or small group in church here, I do feel a wee bit disconnected at times. Yet God's got a way of reaching me through His children... both far and near. I'm a typical Chinese in the sense that I don't like to trouble people with such matters, especially when there's nothing anybody can really do about it. When this incident took place recently I hesitated to share and was a bit lost as to whom to share it with and not having access to email and IM, didn't make it easier. Yet I told some I met in the course of the week and others whom I could think of to consult. So I was pretty touched by all those who offered consolation and to help in ways big and small.

Being away from home and my pool of 'natural' resources, I learn to ask for help. With regards to things like purchasing a laptop, I have never been very confident and would usually ask around, and even ask a friend to come along with me. This goes against my independent spirit but it's good for my soul and wisdom demands it. I'm grateful for my friend who helped me source for this laptop. I met him on Monday, following the incident, where he made a call and found out about this unit. It was good deal and I thanked him for the lead, telling him I'd think about it as I was not decided on whether to get a laptop or desktop. Without me knowing, he had actually gone down to the shop and taken a look at the unit that evening itself. This place is on the east side, more than 1/2 hour away on the bus. My friend lives even further out and it takes him over an hour on the bus to get home ... but he bothered to stop on the way and went to take a look at the unit. I am touched by his friendship. He's a fellow Malaysian and being out here, we try to look out for one another ... there's a kind of bond and I experience the family of God in a very real and tangible way.

All these added to my pool of resources which made it easier for me to forgive whoever who broke into my home. I believe the community of faith is a powerful force when it expresses itself in love. It gave me a tiny glimpse of what happened at the recent shootout in the school in the Armish community and helped me understand how the families of those victims could chose to forgive in response to the horrific events. I see the love and support they received from their tight-knitted community had given them strength to respond in love and forgiveness, instead of bitterness and vengeance. That's not to discount the fact that they had to make a conscious choice to do so and God's grace enabled them to so choose and live by that choice.

This to me is a picture of the people of God, a community of love and faith. We don't respond in a totally 'rational' way as the world expects us because we live out of faith in God as our foundation. The community gathers strength when we realise the enemy is not one of us, despite all our internal tussles or when one of our own fall into sin. The enemy is not even those who are outside of the community and do not share our views. But he is the one acts against God and use people as his instruments. He leads them to misrepresent God and focus on fighting flesh and blood, to divert attention from himself and his schemes. This is the enemy that we should unite and fight against.

Rough week

My apartment got broken into last Sunday. It took place between 12 -2.30pm when all my housemates and I were out. 3 of our 4 rooms got broken into and 2 laptops including mine was taken, as well as my housemate's wallet and almost all my cheque books. We reported to the police and I stopped all my cheques. The only room not broken into had a light on (and I used to nag him for his environmentally unfriendly and unsustainable habit!) while the rest of the house was not lit. It was a very dreary and rainy day and an unlit apartment was a clear sign that no one else was home. Being a long weekend here, it was all very likely that the apartment would be empty. However if there was any inkling that someone was actually in the room, then I think the person was rather brave to still hit the other 3 rooms, going through my stuff quite a bit too. I'm just glad I was not at home alone to encounter the person.

I feel the lost ... a laptop is a very important part of a student's life. Irony of it was that I was still taking photo of my desk with the laptop on it, around 4pm the day before and even posted it on my blog. Most painful was the lost of my data which I had absolutely no backup! All my work done here the past year over and also before - gone. But all's not lost ... am thankful for my diligence in maintaining a blog so at least I still have remnant of some of the photos I've taken. Learned my lesson in a very painful way which some can identify with if they've had their hard drive crashed or infected by virus (I sure hope others are learning from this experience of mine as well). It feels odd to open to 'My Documents' folder and not find a single word document in the file. Extremely odd, leaving you with a sick hollow feeling. I feel like I'm piecing my life together as I install softwares and re-set all my bookmarks from scratch ... I had a very established bookmark folder for my Firefox browser and depended heavily on it. Sometimes I feel like crying but I don't ... can't see what good that will do. Moreover it's not the end of the world. Far from.

Initially I didn't feel safe in my room since I was not able to lock the door. It was frustrating because the management was only able to fix it earlier today ... which is 5 days later, even though Monday was a holiday. Had to make sure one of us was at home all the time this week, it was quite annoying. I was grateful for my parents who called and text me regularly to check in with me, or I would have been so depressed otherwise. Am glad to have 3 guys as my housemates at such times ... I've had worst experience of being robbed point blank in the middle of the street and walk-in robbery at gun point at home. This pale in comparison but still can't help thinking why should these things happen to my family. Last year my parents' house got broken into and before that, my brother's house in New Zealand. We live in a broken, sinful world ... literally, no matter where we are. I was quite upset that something so important to me would be taken from me from my own room ... feel kind of violated.

I must admit I was tempted to join the others to curse the person, although I know I'd feel really bad and can't forgive myself if something terrible did happen to him or her. It crossed my mind if the person was driven to such actions out of a desperate state. When my pastor mentioned that we can pray God will deal justice to the person, I was hesitant to agree ... As I pondered more, I am reminded that Jesus taught us to pray "Forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us". I dared not pray for justice although I have no doubt that God is just. He is also merciful and more importantly, He has dealt very mercifully with me.

I am thankful for friends who've been sympathetic and encouraging, although the lost is not terribly significant compared to other stuff. A few people have prayed for the return of my laptop and that's my prayer too. Without a battery (I've removed it) and with a non-Canadian/American power plug, I do hope it'd be valueless to the person, and that they'll abandon it and it would be returned to me. In the mean time, a friend linked me up with a computer dealer and I managed to purchase a second hand laptop. The specs are quite good and he's willing to undertake the repairs (no warranty). The dealer is a Christian who's been taking care of IT needs for Regent and even hope to take classes with Regent next year. Although he's had the unit, he was not intending to sell it but have been using it personally. The price was quite reasonable and if I'd had bought a lower specs brand new model I'd still have to pay for original software. The damage would have been pretty severe. I'd thought it was a decent deal and am happy with the purchase so far. Trusting the Lord to sustain me through the rest of my studies here. Of course it's ironical that I replaced the laptop before they managed to replace the lock to my door! However in view of the fact that I've not been able to work due to my hectic work load this term, this is quite a bummer financially.

I think of Christmas that is fast approaching - can't help it with the season growing colder here and Advent in 2 weeks' time. For all that has happened, somehow I feel blessed compared to those who are suffering far more than I am and experiencing loss that is greater than mine. I have no cause for complaint and many reasons to be thankful. These things do happen and I learn to accept that the 'trials' I face is not uncommon to others (1 Cor 10:31) although I do not wish it upon anyone. I was listening to a Regent grad, Wee Seng from Singapore, share about the work of God in China, to my Chinese friends attending the Alpha meeting tonight. I was greatly encouraged to hear about the growth of the church in China, probably the fastest growing church in the world. China has always had a special place in my heart and this news filled my heart with rejoicing and hope. I know it touched the students too and gave them lots to think about. Not only is it legal for China to print Bibles for local distribution, which they have been doing and growing exponentially, but today China is also an exporter of the Bible!! Copies of these Contemporary English Version Bible can be found in Regent bookstore. The demand for the Bible is growing in China (duh!) and sales for the pocket size Bible has outgrown the full size indicating that people who are buying and reading the Bible are from the younger generation. This Christmas as we experience and remember God's generosity and grace, may we be generous givers to the work of God and spread His love and Good News to those who still do not know the true reason for our celebration.

JVIS Test

+0.73	Very Similar	Counsellors/Student Personnel Workers
+0.72	Very Similar	Teaching and Related Occupations
+0.68	Very Similar	Administrative and Related Occupations
+0.63	Very Similar	Occupations in Accounting, Banking and Finance
+0.60	Similar	Occupations in Law and Politics
+0.56	Similar	Clerical Services
+0.52	Similar	Occupations in Pre-school and Elementary Teaching
+0.51	Similar	Sales Occupations
+0.49	Similar	Personnel/Human Management
+0.46	Similar	Occupations in Religion

Highest Job Group: Counselors/Student Personnel Workers
People in these occupations assist others in understanding and overcoming personal, developmental, and social problems. They share information about such things as careers and study skills with others in such a way that it is meaningful and helpful to the person seeking assistance. Individuals in these areas tend to score high on the JVIS scales of Teaching, Social Service, Human Relations Management, and Professional Advising. Listed below is a sample of some of the occupations available in this area. To learn more about the occupations that make up this job group, search the complete NOC listings.

Occupations in Social Science, Education, Government Service and Religion
Educational Counsellors (e.g. Guidance Counsellor)
Psychologists (e.g. Clinical Psychologist)
Social Workers (e.g. Social Worker)
Family, Marriage / Other Related Counsellors (e.g. Bereavement Counsellor, Marriage and Family Therapist, Addictions Counsellor, Child and Youth Counsellor)
Community / Social Service Workers (e.g. Crisis Intervention Worker, Social Services Worker, Group Home Worker, Youth Worker)
Employment Counsellors (e.g. Career Counsellor, Vocational Counsellor)

Lord have mercy

Some of you might have read about Ted Haggart's resignation. It's painful when we see a fellow Christian soldier, a general at that, fall. Absolutely heartbreaking. It is also a stark reminder that we are all susceptible to being tempted and none of us are immune to sin, but are kept by the grace of God. We all have our share of struggles in our areas of weakness and given the right combination of factors, you can never say what you are capable of doing.

Not only was Ted the Senior Pastor of New Life Church but also the president of the US National Association of Evangelicals. This one is particularly close to home. One of the worship pastors there is a friend whom I knew growing up, in the Youth Fellowship in my church.

I have no right to cast the first stone. I can only cast my prayers and invite you to do the same. It's a painful time for the Body of Christ. May the Lord have mercy and restore him and his family, sustain the church during this difficult period and the Body of Christ at large, especially those in America. Although he has suffered tremendous shame (friends tell me this was front page on national newspaper in NZ), it is not beyond redemption and the reach of God's grace.

The National Association of Evangelicals is a group that is 30-million strong with over 50 years of history. However, in the last few years, its headquarters has moved to an office within Haggard’s New Life Community Church with its staffers fully employed by the church. This failure on the part of the NAE to operate independent of any one church or person is among the most critical mistakes the organisation has made – a fault that must be acknowledged and amended immediately.
Read more here at Christianity Today

Our church's overseers have required me to submit to the oversight of Dr. James Dobson, Pastor Jack Hayford, and Pastor Tommy Barnett. Those men will perform a thorough analysis of my mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical life. They will guide me through a program with the goal of healing and restoration for my life, my marriage, and my family.
Read his personal statement to the church: New Life Church

Solitude

Feel like I'm back from the grave. The past few weeks of this semester have been the busiest since I've been here. The amount of work I had to do in terms of studies have been immense. I've written 5 full-size (3,500- 4,000 words) papers in the last 6 weeks on top of having to read a book a weekly and hand in a report for them. It was physically tiring and mentally demanding. This is in light of the fact that I've had a very hectic summer. So am breathing a little easier today. Thank God for His grace that sustained me and kept me. The last paper I had to write was the longest of them but I had no idea how to tackle the paper by last Thu night (which was due 4 days later). Thinking under pressure wasn't helpful and was starting to feel slight panic. Cancelled some appointments and asked for prayers all round. By midnight I could see a cloud in the horizon. It did feel like it came out of nowhere and the thesis emerged with more clarity the following day. This is not the way I like to work and write my papers but someone used to tell me, we don't get to work in ideal conditions, so we do our best with what we're given. God knew this ahead of time and I'm glad I'm not working part-time during this season because I would have not been able to keep it up and still do a good job, both in terms of work and studies.

The last 2-3 weeks have been so intense that I felt like I've been caving or like Jonah in the belly of the fish and feel as if my life has been running on hibernate mode. Doing the absolutely minimum and have had passed up on quite a bit, like public lectures (even one by James Houston), chapel services, alpha meetings and most of my social engagement, even my online appearance was almost non-existent. My friends found it hard to believe and so did I!! But one's gotta do what one's gotta do. So I'm thankful the Lord sustained and His faithfulness in keeping me me through all that. During this time I could not depend on anyone but look to Him. However I am grateful for those who've given me moral and prayer support and even help me work through my initial framework for my paper. I thought I'd be very unhappy about having to give up all that I really enjoyed doing but I guess I was too busy to think about it.

I know that you can't always put life on hold to tackle a crisis so I guess this is a luxury that I have as a full-time student and single person. It does reflect very poor planning and I have to learn to work with my limitations and not to be too ambitious - but I'm a slow learner! Yet I must say this has been a good season of retreat for me from my usual busy social butterfly life. I thought I'd resent this imposed withdrawal but I found myself finding a sense of peace within me. Perhaps I've been too busy to notice it, nevertheless it's a good sign I think to be able to accept it even though I really didn't have much choice. I guess that would be the only way ... probably would not have chosen to do it voluntarily!

Then again with internet I go all over the world through my computer even though I'm stuck to the desk, and that has source of ample distractions. Sigh. Which explains the new look on this blog. A result of boredom ... and like the theme of this blog, it was time for change. Time for more colours and light ... maybe it reflects what's taken place within me. Time for more colours and light in my life, out with the dark and bleak outlook, which I'm prone to in my melancholic moments. It's a step forward I hope ... a change that perhaps took place when I was unawares, and even is still being worked out in me. I don't know and am not in control. I can only wait and see what the Lord is doing in me. In the mean time, the submarine is ready to re-emerge! So look out world - here I come!

I find this new skin refreshing and hope you enjoy it too.