God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end.

Life is about changes and learning to enjoy the adventure of journeying in life with Him. I can't see what's ahead and have no way of controlling how things will go. I can only trust Him, that He makes all things beautiful in its time.

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

The Cracked Pot

A water-bearer had two large pots. Each hung on opposite ends of a pole that he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, while the other was perfect. The latter always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house. The cracked pot arrived only half-full. Every day for a full two years, the water-bearer delivered only one and a half pots of water. The perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, because it fulfilled magnificently the purpose for which it had been made. But the cracked pot was ashamed of its imperfection, miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.

After the second year of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, the unhappy pot spoke to the water-bearer one day by the stream. "I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you" the pot said. "Why?" asked the bearer. "What are you ashamed of?" " I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load, because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all this work and you don’t get full value from your efforts," the pot said. The water-bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion, he said. "As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path."

Indeed, as they went up the hill, the cracked pot took notice of the beautiful wildflowers on the side of the path, bright in the sun’s glow, and the sight cheered it up a bit. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad that it had leaked out half of its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure. The bearer said to the pot "Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of the path, not on the other pot’s side? I have always known about your flaw, and I have taken advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day, as we have walked back from the stream, you have watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have had this beauty to grace his house."

Every contribution, no matter how small, is counted for the master’s good.


Sometimes I feel like the cracked pot (or a crack pot!) I look at the sins in my life and I wonder why is it taking so long? I know God saved me and is in the process of transforming me but why is it taking so long? Why do I still see these cracks in my character and personality? Wouldn't it have been easier if the work of sanctification was completed at the time of conversion? Then I can truly live as one who has been redeemed by God, with the redeemed people of God to show forth God's redemption in creation. Instead now I see how I am so predisposed to sin that I cannot trust myself, not even for one moment. While I long to love and serve others in the body of Christ and the community at large, sin trips me up and relationships are strained, if not kept at a distance. I dare not show people who I really am, and am not sure I can take it, if people showed me who they really were. Longing to be with God and draw close to Him, my sins condemn me and often leads me to hide from Him. O wretched soul I am.

I am weak but Thou art strong. Be my strength in my every weakness. I pray You will work something beautiful out of my brokenness.

Monday, August 21, 2006

I am the Lord's Servant

Last week I was approached by my pastor to lead the multimedia team in my church. I've been helping out a couple of times the last few months, but I really did not see this coming. I had no plans to get involved in leadership in church here except to be an active member. I have my commitments in Regent and also helping out at the International Alpha. I felt this was quite enough on top of working, studies and still trying to have a life. I told myself (and God) if I accepted this, I wanted to know it's because I wanted it (or it's His will) and not because I didn't know how to say 'No'.

Multimedia is a ministry that I have always enjoyed doing. I was involved in this ministry for main worship service in my church. This was the ministry that I was involved in when I first started serving. Those days we used OHP and I grew with the ministry as the technology advanced. I was coordinating operators for the morning service in church even as a youth (late teens to early 20s). The highest point of my time in this ministry was to oversee the multimedia operations for one of the evenings of a nationwide Christian gathering in Stadium Merdeka. This is a national football stadium with a capacity of 50,000. I don't think I ever told anyone this but in the words of the Eric Lidell, the Olympics runner featured in 'Chariots of Fire', I'd say 'I know I've been called to other things like perhaps pastoring, but when I do multimedia, I feel his pleasure'. It's as simple as that.

However when this opportunity was presented to me, I hesitated. In fact everything within me wanted to turn it down because I felt I didn't need the hassle of coordinating other operators and certainly don't need more on my already very full plate. In a sense I was also a little disappointed. For some weeks prior to the email I received from my pastor, I've been visiting other churches and haven't been attending my own church. There was a little uneasiness within me about church, finding the community a little cold and difficult to integrate into. The friends that used to join me to worship here have all left and gone home for good. So I figured it was a good time to reconsider if I really should stay. The reason I chose this church in the first place is because this was a place I met with God each time I went. I enjoy the worship and preaching. The pastors are a great bunch!

My hesitation is also personal as I was afraid of taking up leadership. It's not like I can't do leadership because I know I can, and even am naturally inclined to it. Yet I'm afraid. I didn't like the 'pedestal' that people put you on when you become a leader. You become a target for unwarranted and unsolicited criticism. People feel they have a right, even an obligation, to give you a piece of their mind about everything and anything about your life simply because you're a leader. I also felt that leaders are assumed to be spiritual and doing well spiritually, which is another false expectation I felt was impossible to live by. This is extremely hazardous for the soul because I know if I'm not careful, I can easily buy into this image of spirituality which really has no basis. I can be walking in sin and living a double life behind the title and 'robe' and still people want to think, and assume, I'm doing ok. It's not real. I'm tired of the charades or letting people down when I tell them I'm hopelessly sinful!

Then I went to church the following day, after my pastor's invitation to take up this responsiblity. God hit me with the message on leadership from Nehemiah! Baam! I couldn't have missed it. I felt challenged to make a difference by accepting this responsiblity, and leading with a different attitude and spirit. Then the pastor who was speaking made a comment at the end about how being a leader is like wearing a target board, and people like to use us for target practice! I knew God had spoken but I was still stubborn. The reluctance to accept more responsiblity is overwhelming and I could not overcome it. So I prayed and asked God to confirm what he wanted me to do. If he wanted me to accept it, then he had to change my heart about it.

The night before last Sunday service, I was praying hard because I knew I had to give a reply to my pastor soon. I struggled and admitted to God that I was afraid of making mistakes. I saw many of the mistakes I've made in the past and I did not want to stumble others or put his name to shame. I asked him to forgive me for the times when I've ministered, many times, out of my own strength. Sometimes he is so gentle and have been my silent partner, that I even imagined that I've been doing the work on my own. At times it felt like everything was so well planned, it did not really matter if God turned up for the service... things will run status quo, with or without him. Since I've been involved in this ministry previously, I was afraid that I would depend on my strength and experience, instead of him as I should. So I prayed that God will help me hear him clearly if He'd speak to me again to confirm this matter. I was half doubting I'd hear him, wondering if I'd make things up in my mind and assume it was God. I asked him to speak in such a way that my mind cannot pose any doubts that He has spoken. It's almost like I'm testing God.

The following Sunday, I went to church and during the worship, the Lord reminded me powerfully that he has forgiven me of all my sins and has removed my transgressions from me as far as the east is from the west. Then, lo and behold, the pastor was speaking about how each of us should take up our position and do our part in the kingdom of God - still part of the Nehemiah series. A much needed reminder. The pastor then issued a challenge for us to respond to God and be open for him to use us as he wants to. I stepped forward for prayer and the senior pastor prayed for me. One thing I was grateful for was he reminded me that when I accept God's invitation to serve, it is a partnership with God. He calls me to participate with him in the work that HE is already doing. He does not want me to run ahead of him in my own strength, as I know I'm always tempted to do because I'm basically a very driven person, but to keep step with him. Then my senior pastor very gently but firmly assured me that if I were to accept any responsiblity in this church, I can always tell them if I need to take a break or I'm reaching the limit in terms of the load I'm able to handle.

It was very encouraging for me to see how God come to me at my level to meet me in such a gentle and loving way. He could easily have rebuked me since I should know better and simply issued a command because He is sovereign. He is perfectly entitled to do so but he chose to reveal his will in this humble manner. Condescending to my requests for confirmation, he even made sure I heard him loud and clear. He softened my heart with his compassion and again I'm reminded that it is his goodness that leads us to repentance (Rom 2:4). I am grateful he knows my fears and understands that in the depth of my heart I do want to serve him but want to do so out of a pure heart and in response to his call. For someone who has no qualms of taking on new challenges and responsiblities, this is quite a change. Since this is a ministry is one I've been involved previously, my usual self would not consider this ministry much of a challenge, and would have taken it up in no time. But it would have been based on my own strength, experience and simply the fact that I know this is a ministry I enjoy doing and that he delights in the worship I offer in the form of this service. Yet the unwillingness to simply assume responsiblity and even to feel the need to depend on God, is a new development for me. I see this as a positive development and a sign of God's hand at work in my life.

Finally, later that Sunday, my pastor who is in charge of multimedia, encouraged me with an amazing piece of news. The LCD projector that we've been using have been giving a lot of trouble and it costs as much to repair as it would to replace it. The church leadership have twice appealed to the members to pray and consider giving towards this need. After yesterday's sermon, a young man felt convicted and told the pastor he would bear the whole cost of replacing the projector! He is just a teenage student and his heart is simply passionate for God which can be seen in his willingness to give sacrificially. I know God will honour him and bless him much in return. But this has really challenged me to consider if I'm willing to serve sacrificially to build up the house of God.

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Grace Flows Down

Amazing Grace
How sweet the sound
Amazing Love
Now flowing down
From hands and feet
That were nailed to the tree
As Grace flows down and covers me

Chorus
It covers me
It covers me
It covers me
And covers me

'Grace Flows Down' performed by Christy Nockles
Words Louie Giglio & David Bell
Album: Passion - One Day Live (2000)

He gives and takes away

I've been asked many times by Christians why God allows bad things to happen to good people. I can sense their struggle as they try to reconcile why God does not heal or deliver those who love Him. Is there an answer, a good answer? Sometimes we find it hard to discern any purpose for the pain. We can accept when He gives, can we not accept when He takes away? He calls us to trust Him when we don't understand what He is up to. Trust He is in control and knows what He is doing. Trust He is with us as we go through the storm. Trust He will not let us go. Trust that He is good and He loves us, even when the circumstances do not seem to confirm that.

Perhaps there is just no good answer on this side of heaven. I don't know if the answers would still matter when we get to the other side.

Read the amazing story behind the song 'Praise You in This Storm' by Casting Crowns here.
Link to the lyrics of the song.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

He is

In Genesis, He's the breath of Life
In Exodus, the passover Lamb
In Leviticus, He's our high priest
Numbers, the fire by night
Deuteronomy, He's Moses' voice
In Joshua, He is salvation's choice
Judges, Law giver
In Ruth, the kinsman redeemer
First and Second Samuel, our trusted prophet
In Kings and Chronicles, He's sovereign
Ezra, true and faithful scribe
Nehemiah, He's the rebuilder of broken walls and lives
In Esther, He's Mordecai's courage
In Job, the timeless redeemer
In Psalms, He is our morning song
In Proverbs, wisdom's cry
Ecclesiastes, the time and season
In the Song of Solomon, He is the lover's dream
He is, He is, He is

In Isaiah, He's Prince of Peace
Jeremiah, the weeping prophet
In Lamentations, the cry for Israel
Ezekiel, He's the call from sin
In Daniel, the stranger in the fire
In Hosea, He is forever faithful
In Joel, He's the Spirits power
In Amos, the arms that carry us
In Obadiah, He's the Lord our Savior
In Jonah, He's the great missionary
In Micah, the promise of peace
In Nahum, He is our strength and our shield
In Habakkuk and Zephaniah, He's pleading for revival
In Haggai, He restores a lost heritage
In Zechariah, our fountain
In Malachi, He is the son of righteousness rising with healing in His wings
He is, He is, He is

In Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, He is God, Man, Messiah
In the book of Acts, He is fire from heaven
In Romans, He's the grace of God
In Corinthians, the power of love
In Galatians, He is freedom from the curse of sin
Ephesians, our glorious treasure
Philippians, the servants heart
In Colossians, He's the Godhead trinity
Thessalonians, our coming King
In Timothy, Titus, Philemon He's our mediator and our faithful Pastor
In Hebrews, the everlasting covenant
In James, the one who heals the sick.
In First and Second Peter, he is our Shepherd
In John and in Jude, He is the lover coming for His bride
In the Revelation, He is King of Kings and the Lord of Lords
He is, He is, He is

The prince of peace
The Son of man
The Lamb of God
The great I am
He's the alpha and omega
Our God and our Savior
He is Jesus Christ Lord and when time is no more
He is, He is

Words by Jeoffrey Benward & Jeff Silvey
(c)1994 Star Song

Monday, August 07, 2006

Exciting developments in Regent


We're in the midst of building an extension to our very small campus (yes, many are surprised that a college of this reputation only have 3 classrooms!!) The construction is at its height this season since we have this precious one month in between Summer term that just finished and the Fall which will begin officially in mid-Sept.

One very exciting part of this construction is the True North Tower, which has already received some media attention in Canada. It is called "True North" because the point of the tower will line up perfectly with the North Star, a star that for centuries has been a guide to shepherds and travelers alike through their life journeys. Embedded in the tower’s window is an array of solar cells, thin silicon and metal squares that convert light into electricity - they will illuminate the tower literally and spiritually. The panes will feature an Aramaic version of the Lord's Prayer etched into the glass. These will collect enough energy to light up the wind tower’s beautifully coloured LED lighting system designed by the artist, Sarah Halls. "They weigh an absolute ton because they're thermal panes," she said. "They're also safety glass -- they meet every code you can possibly imagine. They're basically kind of vandal proof." As one approaches the tower from a distance, the impression you get is that of looking at a waterfall.

Read more about it here.
Media Coverage.