A Familiar 'Love' Story

It's 2:30 am and I've got this silly piece playing in my head. Writer's inspiration? Perhaps it's the caffeine in my natural peppermint tea. Or maybe the feeling of not having much time left of my holidays and wanting to maximise it! Whatever. This is a humourous and cynical piece, so if that's not your style, you can stop reading. It's just for laughs and purely fictitious; any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental!

In the Beginning....
Boy meets girl (or if you prefer, girl meets boy. Whatever.)
He thinks she is cute.
She thinks he is attractive. (This could be for any possible reasons, ranging from having a charming smile, deep voice, mannerisms, or simply because he's a noticeable character in the room, like the MC. The story will focus more on her, for reasons that would become obvious.)
They get to know each other. (The possibilities of how the order of events at this stage can vary are countless).
He shows interest in her work, hobbies, family, dog, and finds out she prefers freshly brewed, black coffee and considers instant coffee to be not real coffee.
She thinks he is interesting, humourous, attentive, manly, decisive, caring, clever, etc.
They have more opportunities to meet in a group setting and find that they some how end up talking to each other.
On one of these occassions, he asks if she will go shopping with him to buy a gift for his mother's birthday (his mother for the past 25 years!)
They have a good time together and enjoyed each other's company.
They find that they share a lot of things in common, for example their common passion for Liverpool and have a common enemy in Manchaster United (Too bad I'm telling the story!)
Although it is more likely they discover a shared liking for Japanese anime and maybe a common dislike for chilli! (Come on, I told you I was telling the story.)
Anyways they have dinner together and made plans to meet up again to compare their Japanese anime collection. (Telling of the generation perhaps?)
In the mean time, he sends her funny sms-es, and she in turn forwards him interesting emails.
They meet up at a mall one evening after work and after dinner, he suggested they catch one of the movies that was playing.
She didn't think much about that movie but went along because after all, it's Friday night.

(Fast forward)
They have been chatting on the internet almost daily the last 3 months. (This should alert you to where this might be going)
They have gone out together a few more times since then. Nothing special and it just seems like one was always game when the other comes up with a suggestion.
He tells her how comfortable he feels talking about stuff with her and how she is the only one who really understands him. He can be his true self with her and knows that she will still accept him. (Can you smell trouble brewing?)
Upon hearing this, it caused her heart to missed a beat and in her heart she knew she felt the same way about him too. She told him how much she appreciates his friendship too.
As time goes on, he continues to pay special attention to her and seem to be concerned for her needs. For example, he would buy her cough drops after hearing her coughing on a certain occassion. He would know when she is feeling uncomfortable with a person smoking behind her and offer to exchange places with her, although he cannot stand the smell of secondary smoke himself. He gives her lifts when they are going to a common event because he knows she does not like driving at night and he thinks it is not safe for her to drive home alone.
Very soon, she begins to develop feelings for him.
As her feelings for him grew, she begins to notice the little things that he did for her and was not doing for any other girls.
Around this time, their friends started teasing them about the possiblity of them becoming a couple.
He brushes them off and seem to be unaffected by their remarks.
She tries to hint to him of her interest, sharing about her ideal house, her idea of a romantic vacation spot, preference to have small dogs because they are less intimidating for young children.
Prodded by her, he shares about his dreams for his future, which include rising the ranks in his career, owning his dream car and having a family whom he can share his success with.
She cannot help but wonder if he had her in mind when she was talking about his future family.
As the days go by, she finds it increasingly difficult to get him out of her mind. He comes to mind, almost out of nowhere and she does not understand how everything around her seems to remind her of him.
On a few occassion, he notices that she gets agitated easily and seem to be very sensitive. When he enquires with her if anything is bothering her, only to receive an abrupt 'Nothing'. (Some guys instinctively know that a curt 'Nothing' is usually spells bad news.)
She tries again to prod and asks him what he think of the teasing of their friends. His reply was merely to ignore them and they will eventually get tired of it.
Almost against her will, hope begins to be birthed in her. She tries to convince herself otherwise, but then again, he didn't outrightly say No to the idea as well. She can't help wondering why he does not asks her to be his special girlfriend.
(It's obvious this is set in a conservative context. If left to Hollywood, they would have slept together by now, probably on a regular basis, and having to manage a major crisis in their relationship at this stage of the story.)

At this point, she consults a few of her friends (Actually she may have been sharing all this time with her closer friends.)
She needs help to decide what is her best course of action? Her options:
a. Confront him and ask him if he likes her.
b. Get a common friend to find out.
c. Forget the whole business and stay friendship.
For the sake of continuing the story, let's say she chooses a. She approaches it subtly, asking him if he ever thought of them as being more than just friends.

He answers (drum roll.... and his answer is of course crucial) and tells her that he treats her as a very good friend, even a special friend. In fact she's his best buddy among his girl friends. He doesn't think she should be affected by all the silly, meaningless teasings because he does not want her to be hurt.
She answers him with a meaningless mumble and changes the subject. Within her, her heart weeps silent tears.

Ok, this is not my attempt to write a play, script for a new movie, or plot for a romantic novel. But it does sound familiar right? My question is 'What is the guy thinking?'
a. Is he really so thick and simply don't get the girl's hints and clueless that the girl has feelings for him? Does he really expect the girl to read his actions as merely being a 'buddy'?
b. Is he being reckless about her feelings that although he senses her interest in him, continues to encourage it simply because he enjoys the attention and wants to have it as long as he can?
c. Is he trying to keep things vague and have his options open, so that he can change his mind if a better choice comes along, but if not, settle for this?
d. Is he keeping the possiblity open because he is unsure of his own feelings?

I know it does not sound very positive and I don't think the girl is absolved from all responsibility for how things have turned out. Yet, this scenario is scarily common. And painfully so. How different would your answer be, if I added a tiny detail which I missed - the guy is married? The truth is these sort of things can happen even if either party is married. Worse would be if he were to tell the lady jokingly, "If I'm not married, I'll definitely choose someone like you!".

This is probably why girls are often warned not to give their hearts and invest emotionally in a relationship until she is very sure where the guy stands. Good guy friends of mine tell me that if a guy really likes a gal, he will come outright and 'declare' his intentions to her in no uncertain terms. Yes, there is a fear of rejection, but I think that a guy's make up is such that he will overcome that fear. If a guy is unwilling to take the risk to initiate a relationship, one wonders how much he really values it in the first place? I'm not an old-fashioned kind of person (very far from it in fact!) to think that only a guy can make the first step, but I think unless a guy spells out his intentions in no uncertain terms, a girl would be wise to withhold her heart and be careful not to allow 'hope' to build up, resulting in very unncessary heartache and ruining a very good friendship. On the other hand, I am very much against these sort of 'fishing' activities by guys. I think it is being reckless and negligence about the other party's feelings, and being completely selfishness, on a guy's part. It is unfair to play games with a girl's heart, if you are uncertain of your feelings and intentions. Of course, I'm not going to mention what I think of such flirtatious and suggestive remarks in the case where either party is married.

I believe we all have a part to play in guarding each other's heart as well as our own. That is part of loving our neighbour.