I'm all ears

I was sharing with a friend here last Sunday on the journey of my heart. We spent the day together with another friend of hers, who's here in Vancouver for a visit. I found myself telling my friend things that I've not told anyone or even gave much thought to. Nothing particularly private but some pretty personal stuff. It was the first time I've actually tracked this aspect of my own journey in almost 'one sitting'. She asked a very perceptive question which made me think and kind of turned the light on within me on certain issues. It was pretty amazing. I know it's terrible for me to be speaking in codes and not actually saying what we've discussed. I am sorry. Anyways, the highlight was, as I later reflected on all that I've shared, some things about myself started to dawn upon me and I began to notice patterns in my behaviour that I've failed to observe before. It made me see what drives me and understand better some of my own actions. I am quite amazed and rather amused. I've always wondered why some of my actions seem to be such extreme polarities and self-contradictory. When I had this insight, I could easily reconcile these conflicts. For those who are familiar with Johari Window, this incident helped to increase my self-awareness.

I believe such attentive listening is a gift and loving service we can give one another, which is worth more than gold. It's very affirming when someone is willing to give their time to hear you out. In fact I took a course last summer on 'Contemplative Listening' and realised how much effort it really takes to listen intently to another person! It means we have to resist interrupting or being quick to share our own story. It's not even about the great insights we can shed on what the person has shared. We give of ourselves when we offer hospitality of friendship to others and give them space to be themselves and to open up without fear; fear of rejection, ridicule, betrayal of trust, etc. It's an honour we pay to another when we listen attentively to them. And we never know how God can speak to the person even through our listening!