If you have speakers on the PC, turn it on. There is a very nice Korean song playing in the background. You may have to wait for a while for the movie to load. Check out more of these videos here.
Monday, January 30, 2006
How Long Part 2
This simple but beautiful illustrates my last few posts very well, especially the one just before this. Very touching.
If you have speakers on the PC, turn it on. There is a very nice Korean song playing in the background. You may have to wait for a while for the movie to load. Check out more of these videos here.
If you have speakers on the PC, turn it on. There is a very nice Korean song playing in the background. You may have to wait for a while for the movie to load. Check out more of these videos here.
Tuesday, January 24, 2006
How Long
One of the guys at the Alpha International have been asking us if you're given a choice today, would you prefer to go to heaven or remain on earth, and why. He was asking this genuinely and could not understand how anyone, given that choice would choose anything but the latter. I understand where he is coming from. And I understand too that he still does not know and is not certain what, or more precisely, Who, is awaiting to receive him on the other side.
As mentioned in my earlier blog, my mind cannot help sometimes but to ponder on the increasing darkness around me and think, "How long O Lord?" My prayer is that I would not lose hope but continue to keep my eyes on Christ. That I would not despair and think that He's left us without any comfort or hope. Instead I remind myself of His words "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." (John 16:3). This truth was also rbought out in the words in the songs we sung in Chapel today. Praise be to God.
Sunday, January 22, 2006
Random Series of Thoughts
Reflections from today's worship service.
One of song we sang had the first line that goes something like this "I came here to worship you, and although I don't hear your voice ... it's ok" I admit that I sort of reacted and couldn't help thinking of the theology of that line. Almost before the worship was over, I kind of had an answer ... The pastor opened the floor for members to share if they have received a word from the Lord for the congregation. What followed was really beautiful as a few members stood up and shared. It was all very edifying. You almost feel like there's really no need for a sermon after that (which the pastor took the cue and closed with a summary of his message). I guess what struck me was the way the Pastor opened up the floor, and as these members shared, it hit me that we were hearing the voice of God for one another. That's what corporate worship is about. It's not about me, doing my thing and just singing to God ... I can do that at home, or driving in my car. The one thing that I can't do on my own, and need to do with other fellow Christians is to worship Him corporately. So instead of singing "I" focused songs, this is the time to make "we" and "us" declarations. As I worship, I realised, I don't do it alone, but within the context of the community of faith. It's not just about my faith, but all of us sharing a common faith, one Lord, one God, one Spirit, one baptism, etc. When I'm not able to listen to the voice of God, others help me discern that voice. And at other times I, in turn, will help others discern His will and speak His word to my brother or sister. That's why even though I may not hear his voice ... it's ok.
More food for thought. Pastor went on to share about the Sower sowing the seeds. The Sower is Christ and He faithfully sows along the paths. He does not discriminate, as we probably would, and refuse to sow on the grounds that are less productive. No, He sows generously and faithfully, both in the fertile and good soil, as well as the thorny and hard ones. Sometimes my heart is so hard, I wonder if there's any hope for me. Other times, it feels like the cares of the world weigh me down so much and I barely spare more than a few minutes thinking of Him through the day. Nevertheless just like a patch of wild flowers that grow out of a dry desert after a night of shower, it reminds me that God's grace reaches beyond what you and I can imagine. Likewise, amidst thorny bushes and weeds, we can see the most pretty flowers blossoming through. I remember seeing a whole field of wild lupins in the middle of nowhere in New Zealand and believes God sows generously and 'wildly'! OK I know in that passage, we are exhorted to be good soil. Yet I am keenly aware that there are still many areas is my heart that is far from good soil, and more like the rocky and thorny paths. I am looking to and trusting Him to till this ground and soften it, to transform it to be good soil!
One of song we sang had the first line that goes something like this "I came here to worship you, and although I don't hear your voice ... it's ok" I admit that I sort of reacted and couldn't help thinking of the theology of that line. Almost before the worship was over, I kind of had an answer ... The pastor opened the floor for members to share if they have received a word from the Lord for the congregation. What followed was really beautiful as a few members stood up and shared. It was all very edifying. You almost feel like there's really no need for a sermon after that (which the pastor took the cue and closed with a summary of his message). I guess what struck me was the way the Pastor opened up the floor, and as these members shared, it hit me that we were hearing the voice of God for one another. That's what corporate worship is about. It's not about me, doing my thing and just singing to God ... I can do that at home, or driving in my car. The one thing that I can't do on my own, and need to do with other fellow Christians is to worship Him corporately. So instead of singing "I" focused songs, this is the time to make "we" and "us" declarations. As I worship, I realised, I don't do it alone, but within the context of the community of faith. It's not just about my faith, but all of us sharing a common faith, one Lord, one God, one Spirit, one baptism, etc. When I'm not able to listen to the voice of God, others help me discern that voice. And at other times I, in turn, will help others discern His will and speak His word to my brother or sister. That's why even though I may not hear his voice ... it's ok.
More food for thought. Pastor went on to share about the Sower sowing the seeds. The Sower is Christ and He faithfully sows along the paths. He does not discriminate, as we probably would, and refuse to sow on the grounds that are less productive. No, He sows generously and faithfully, both in the fertile and good soil, as well as the thorny and hard ones. Sometimes my heart is so hard, I wonder if there's any hope for me. Other times, it feels like the cares of the world weigh me down so much and I barely spare more than a few minutes thinking of Him through the day. Nevertheless just like a patch of wild flowers that grow out of a dry desert after a night of shower, it reminds me that God's grace reaches beyond what you and I can imagine. Likewise, amidst thorny bushes and weeds, we can see the most pretty flowers blossoming through. I remember seeing a whole field of wild lupins in the middle of nowhere in New Zealand and believes God sows generously and 'wildly'! OK I know in that passage, we are exhorted to be good soil. Yet I am keenly aware that there are still many areas is my heart that is far from good soil, and more like the rocky and thorny paths. I am looking to and trusting Him to till this ground and soften it, to transform it to be good soil!
We sang this amazing song today. It fits right into my week, with what we have been discussing in my Christian Thought and Culture class, on the amazing character of God's creation. Out of all the millions of galaxies, He chose to put us in this one, where the sun supplies enough energy (with constant explosions that take place periodically, by which new stars and planets are birthed) for our earth all these million years (regardless of which Creation theory you adopt!) What's more it's not too cold (too near the sun) or too hot (too far from it) but just nice for life to exist in planet earth. Even a common element like carbon that most matters are made of, requires a degree of precision, for 2 molecules of helium (forming an unstable berrylium) to vibrate sufficiently and collide with another loose molecule of helium to form carbon. If you think this is technical, you'll be most impressed that the guest lecturer, Dennis Danielson, who delivered this lecture, is actually an English major and lectures in the Arts Dept in UBC! But on the other hand, he addresses the American Society of Physicists. What an amazing diversity. As I contemplate on the lyrics of this song, it is not hard to appreciate this, especially in this beautiful city of Vancouver. Facing the ocean, with the hills on the other; summer, spring, fall and winter; with the beautiful nature all around and etc.
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea,
Creation's revealing Your majesty.
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring,
Every creature unique in the song that it sings. All exclaiming...
(Chorus)
Indescribable, Uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God.
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim,
You are amazing God.
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go,
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light,
Yet conceals it to give us the coolness of night?
None can fathom...
(Chorus)
Incomparable, Unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same.
You are amazing God.
Christ Tomlin. Copyright © 2001-2005 manueladam.com Inc.
From the highest of heights to the depths of the sea,
Creation's revealing Your majesty.
From the colors of fall to the fragrance of spring,
Every creature unique in the song that it sings. All exclaiming...
(Chorus)
Indescribable, Uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name.
You are amazing God.
All powerful, untameable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees and we humbly proclaim,
You are amazing God.
Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go,
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light,
Yet conceals it to give us the coolness of night?
None can fathom...
(Chorus)
Incomparable, Unchangeable,
You see the depths of my heart and You love me the same.
You are amazing God.
Christ Tomlin. Copyright © 2001-2005 manueladam.com Inc.
Martin Luther. John Calvin. Ulrich Zwingli. I have been introduced to these few friends and many others, and have had the pleasure of making their acquaitance. Of course the pleasure is all mine, in this case. I was thinking through some of the Reformation movement that has taken place in history. I realised that many times, these reformations did not take place in isolation but alongside what was happening historically, socially and etc. King Henry VIII did not break away from Rome because he felt that they were spiritually off in their theology or practise. But in fact had a personal agenda. He wanted to divorce his wife, rather to have his marriage annulled, so that he could marry another lady and hope she could bear him a son. Nevertheless, some very good things came out of this move, including the translation of the English Bible at a later date. God has always worked out His plans and advance His kingdom, despite and even through the evil plans of men. One classic example of this is the crucifixion of Christ. That is something that boggles me and yet, provides me with much hope. I'm so amazed because I know that sometimes when 'evil' plans seem to succeed, it does not necessarily mean that all is lost and that God is defeated! For us at that point in time, like the disciples in the days of Jesus, it may seem like that. But like Tony Campolo said in his famous sermon, It's Friday but Sunday is Coming! We're living in the already-but-not yet period. Sometimes I really don't like the tension but then again, it's also most exciting times to be alive. I need to consciously remind myself that when I see things around me not working out, or even in myself, I must be careful to suspend my judgment. The game is still on and it's far from over! Yes, we've passed the half -time mark, but the whistle is not blown yet! What's more, we know that finally we are the champions!!!!! The final scores will show it. Hang in there and hang on. You've not even seen any real action yet so far.
Friday, January 20, 2006
Patience is an expression of humility.
That hit me like a bullet when I read it in this excellent book (Handbook of Biblical Social Values). I know I have little patience, with myself, snail paced traffic (i.e. anything less than 70 kph!), watching Liverpool players playing a defensive game and irritating people, I'm afraid. Another case of pride exposed. There is more.
Patience, as understood in the Bible, is sharply at odds with contemporary Western ideas. Today, the term is usually understood in an evolutionary or developmental way and is applied to the processes of growth and is applied to the processes of growth and change (like rearing children, education, increasing business, etc.). In contrast, the culture in which the Bible originated usually understood the term to apply to fixed conditions unlikely to change significantly and which therefore must be borne with an attitude of resigned acceptance.
Wow, some of the conditions that come to mind is when one has to live with a terminal illness, or perhaps worse, having a loved one who has to live with a terminal illness. I am not in any way suggesting that these are easy to live with, and am thinking of the hope and faith required in such conditions. I admire the strength of character displayed in some of these saints who are resigned to such states, and remain patient and faithful to the Lord who carries them through such conditions. The patience and hope lies in the ultimate deliverance and healing that He will bring, whether on this side of heaven or the other. In the light of this, I am reminded by a friend recently, to be careful about praying for more patience and grace....
Meanwhile I shall try to wait patiently for the coming World Cup and the state-of-the-art stadium which looks so cool. Check out the pics of the 2006 World Cup Stadium.
Patience, as understood in the Bible, is sharply at odds with contemporary Western ideas. Today, the term is usually understood in an evolutionary or developmental way and is applied to the processes of growth and is applied to the processes of growth and change (like rearing children, education, increasing business, etc.). In contrast, the culture in which the Bible originated usually understood the term to apply to fixed conditions unlikely to change significantly and which therefore must be borne with an attitude of resigned acceptance.
Wow, some of the conditions that come to mind is when one has to live with a terminal illness, or perhaps worse, having a loved one who has to live with a terminal illness. I am not in any way suggesting that these are easy to live with, and am thinking of the hope and faith required in such conditions. I admire the strength of character displayed in some of these saints who are resigned to such states, and remain patient and faithful to the Lord who carries them through such conditions. The patience and hope lies in the ultimate deliverance and healing that He will bring, whether on this side of heaven or the other. In the light of this, I am reminded by a friend recently, to be careful about praying for more patience and grace....
Meanwhile I shall try to wait patiently for the coming World Cup and the state-of-the-art stadium which looks so cool. Check out the pics of the 2006 World Cup Stadium.
Thursday, January 19, 2006
Long Road Home
This morning I woke up from my sleep after a disturbing dream ... I dreamt that I died. I have had dreams of my loved ones passing away and had consciously thought about how I'd die. This is the first I remember dreaming of myself dying. Sorry for this morbid tone.... In my dream I was suffering from a terminally illness and kind of dropped dead out of exhaustion. It was all very vivid, and I could sense I was so tired and only wanted to stop and sleep. So I simply lied down on the pavement, on the snow-covered ground. Yes, I do remember some of my dreams , most which are quite intense, like watching a movie! Don't know what triggered this dream, probably just the fact that the first week of this semester has been quite hectic and have not gotten back into the rhythm of things. Feeling a little exhausted, besides being overwhelmed by the workload ... I have a handful of papers due by end of Feb!
Besides, that I wonder if I'm the only one who sometimes feel very exhausted and tired with life; all the battles both external and internal, the latter being the more demanding ... and asked God, "How long more, O Lord?" Please don't misunderstand me. I love life and embrace this gift of life wholeheartedly. Yet there are times when I feel that it is a long road home and that life on this side of heaven, is not really home. I'm merely a sojourner, traveler and pilgrim passing this way through. When I see so much wickedness, brokenness in the world around me that is increasing in darkness everyday, I can't help but be reminded that these are signs that the end is very near. Thus like all good things, the novelty of this trip wears out after awhile and I can't wait to go home. Go back to the place where I know I belong and can finally have true and lasting peace. During such moments, songs like the one below, encourages me that He is with me, He will carry me and see me through this long road home!
Thought that I was all alone
Broken and afraid
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me
And I didn't even know
That I had lost my way
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me
'Til You opened up my eyes
I never knew
That I couldn't ever make it
Without You
Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God
As I travel on the road
That You have lead me down
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
That You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I confess from time to time
I lose my way
But You are always there
To bring me back again
Sometimes I think of where it is I've come from
And the things I've left behind
But of all I've had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare
With what's in front of me
With what's in front of me
Words and music by Mac Powell & Brown Bannister / 2001 Vandura 2500 Songs (ASCAP) / New Spring, a division of Zomba Enterprises, Inc. (ASCAP). All rights for the US on behalf of Vandura 2500 Songs (ASCAP) administered by Zomba Enterprises, Inc. / Banistuci Music (ASCAP) (adm. by The Loving Company).
Behind the Song:
'We've all had those mountaintop experiences. You feel so close to God. You can see for miles. Vision galore. Then life happens, the valley, the struggles. We often think that the valley is a consequence for the sin of our life. But, maybe it's just our life. We're all promised struggle. We all experience suffering. The hope that we have is wonderfully expressed in this song. 'You were there with me.' We don't have to go through the inevitable trials of life on our own. Mac had penned this song a few years ago. This was the time to get it out with a little 3D juice. Much thanks to Ashley Cleveland for taking the song up a notch.' Tai Anderson (Third Day)
Besides, that I wonder if I'm the only one who sometimes feel very exhausted and tired with life; all the battles both external and internal, the latter being the more demanding ... and asked God, "How long more, O Lord?" Please don't misunderstand me. I love life and embrace this gift of life wholeheartedly. Yet there are times when I feel that it is a long road home and that life on this side of heaven, is not really home. I'm merely a sojourner, traveler and pilgrim passing this way through. When I see so much wickedness, brokenness in the world around me that is increasing in darkness everyday, I can't help but be reminded that these are signs that the end is very near. Thus like all good things, the novelty of this trip wears out after awhile and I can't wait to go home. Go back to the place where I know I belong and can finally have true and lasting peace. During such moments, songs like the one below, encourages me that He is with me, He will carry me and see me through this long road home!
Thought that I was all alone
Broken and afraid
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me
And I didn't even know
That I had lost my way
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me
'Til You opened up my eyes
I never knew
That I couldn't ever make it
Without You
Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God
As I travel on the road
That You have lead me down
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
That You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I confess from time to time
I lose my way
But You are always there
To bring me back again
Sometimes I think of where it is I've come from
And the things I've left behind
But of all I've had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare
With what's in front of me
With what's in front of me
Words and music by Mac Powell & Brown Bannister / 2001 Vandura 2500 Songs (ASCAP) / New Spring, a division of Zomba Enterprises, Inc. (ASCAP). All rights for the US on behalf of Vandura 2500 Songs (ASCAP) administered by Zomba Enterprises, Inc. / Banistuci Music (ASCAP) (adm. by The Loving Company).
Behind the Song:
'We've all had those mountaintop experiences. You feel so close to God. You can see for miles. Vision galore. Then life happens, the valley, the struggles. We often think that the valley is a consequence for the sin of our life. But, maybe it's just our life. We're all promised struggle. We all experience suffering. The hope that we have is wonderfully expressed in this song. 'You were there with me.' We don't have to go through the inevitable trials of life on our own. Mac had penned this song a few years ago. This was the time to get it out with a little 3D juice. Much thanks to Ashley Cleveland for taking the song up a notch.' Tai Anderson (Third Day)
Monday, January 16, 2006
Appreciate Prayers
Worked till I almost drop today. It's the first day of the new term but I plan to work full day on Monday this term as I don't have any class on Mondays. Realised I really enjoy being busy, although some of the task are quite mundane, like photocopying and compiling materials to be posted to our visiting faculty for Spring and Summer school. I don't think I will enjoy working in a job that just 'goyang-kaki' (direct translation = shake leg; being idle). So meaningless and you don't feel you've earned your wage. Not just about being busy, but since I've attended Summer School, I understand how important it is that everything is well planned and must run like clockwork because there is very little margin for errors and courses are very intensive. A million possible things can go wrong thus careful planning at this stage to minimise as much hiccups as possible is really crucial.
My prayer requests for this term:
1. Discipline and diligence to study! Note I'm not asking for good results... although that is not a necessity it is nevertheless always welcome! :D
2. To keep maintain a healthy balance in my life. Simple things like exercise, sleeping, eating and leisure require intentional effort to maintain them in a healthy balance.
3. To grow deeper in and closer to Christ - if my time here is nothing more than just an academic exercise, then I think I've completely missed the point. Pray that my prayer life and reading of the bible will not be forsaken and neglected, nor will it only be done because it is required by my courses - although I'm suppose to complete reading the whole New Testament by the end of this term!
4. Financial prudence and management of my finances as He wants me to, according to kingdom principles and priority. I'll also be putting in my application for scholarship for next year. Trusting Him for His provision.
5. Finding my place in church - while I've kind of settled in a church here, I have not really found my place there. Pray He'd show me how He wants me to get involved in the fellowship in the local church.
6. Pray for the international students that I meet up with every Friday evening for the Alpha group. I am helping with the Bible Study on the book of Acts with those who've gone through the Alpha on previous occassions; some more than once.
7. Effectiveness in my part-time job - to be able to do a good job, make minimal mistakes and complete my given tasks on time. That is not too much to ask for right?
Ok something totally unrelated....
I had this crazy idea (nothing new), what will happen if we played Monopoly according to Kingdom principles of finance sterwardship? How would that look like? I imagine one will probably not collect rent from those who stop at your house/hotel for the first time, or if they have no money to pay. Share your 'Get Out of Jail Free' card with your neighbour who lands in jail. Distribute your 'windfall' income with all the other players. The Banker will remind you if you forgot to collect your 'wage' when you pass Go. Share to pay when someone picks up a card that cost him a bomb (like failure to pay last year's tax). At the end of the day, everyone will be rich and only the bank will be poor! And boy, won't you like to see that happen in the real world?!
My prayer requests for this term:
1. Discipline and diligence to study! Note I'm not asking for good results... although that is not a necessity it is nevertheless always welcome! :D
2. To keep maintain a healthy balance in my life. Simple things like exercise, sleeping, eating and leisure require intentional effort to maintain them in a healthy balance.
3. To grow deeper in and closer to Christ - if my time here is nothing more than just an academic exercise, then I think I've completely missed the point. Pray that my prayer life and reading of the bible will not be forsaken and neglected, nor will it only be done because it is required by my courses - although I'm suppose to complete reading the whole New Testament by the end of this term!
4. Financial prudence and management of my finances as He wants me to, according to kingdom principles and priority. I'll also be putting in my application for scholarship for next year. Trusting Him for His provision.
5. Finding my place in church - while I've kind of settled in a church here, I have not really found my place there. Pray He'd show me how He wants me to get involved in the fellowship in the local church.
6. Pray for the international students that I meet up with every Friday evening for the Alpha group. I am helping with the Bible Study on the book of Acts with those who've gone through the Alpha on previous occassions; some more than once.
7. Effectiveness in my part-time job - to be able to do a good job, make minimal mistakes and complete my given tasks on time. That is not too much to ask for right?
Ok something totally unrelated....
I had this crazy idea (nothing new), what will happen if we played Monopoly according to Kingdom principles of finance sterwardship? How would that look like? I imagine one will probably not collect rent from those who stop at your house/hotel for the first time, or if they have no money to pay. Share your 'Get Out of Jail Free' card with your neighbour who lands in jail. Distribute your 'windfall' income with all the other players. The Banker will remind you if you forgot to collect your 'wage' when you pass Go. Share to pay when someone picks up a card that cost him a bomb (like failure to pay last year's tax). At the end of the day, everyone will be rich and only the bank will be poor! And boy, won't you like to see that happen in the real world?!
Wet and Exciting
Rain, rain and more rain. It's been raining for 26 days in a row, 2 days short of the previous record! Could only count the hours, not days, between the rain. Thankfully both yesterday and today was clear and bright. The sun looks more beautiful than I ever remembered it ... almost forgot what it looked like! Just couldn't resist going outdoor for a walk and realised that quite a few others shared the same bright idea, as it's usually pretty quiet in the campus during the weekend. More rain is expected in the coming week.
Canada's federal election this Friday. Praying for a godly administration and government, in this already very secular nation.
Mission Fest is an event to look forward to at the end of this month. The plenary speakers sound very exciting, especially Majed El Shafie. Read his testimony. Very moving. Came from a Muslim family, with many in the legal profession, in Egypt. Had to go through a lot of persecution when he converted. Most of the seminars are admission free. Only thing is the Missions Fest falls right on the Chinese New Year weekend. Missions Fest 2006
And my new term starts tomorrow. This is a very exciting season!
Canada's federal election this Friday. Praying for a godly administration and government, in this already very secular nation.
Mission Fest is an event to look forward to at the end of this month. The plenary speakers sound very exciting, especially Majed El Shafie. Read his testimony. Very moving. Came from a Muslim family, with many in the legal profession, in Egypt. Had to go through a lot of persecution when he converted. Most of the seminars are admission free. Only thing is the Missions Fest falls right on the Chinese New Year weekend. Missions Fest 2006
And my new term starts tomorrow. This is a very exciting season!
Saturday, January 14, 2006
A Familiar 'Love' Story
It's 2:30 am and I've got this silly piece playing in my head. Writer's inspiration? Perhaps it's the caffeine in my natural peppermint tea. Or maybe the feeling of not having much time left of my holidays and wanting to maximise it! Whatever. This is a humourous and cynical piece, so if that's not your style, you can stop reading. It's just for laughs and purely fictitious; any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental!
In the Beginning....
Boy meets girl (or if you prefer, girl meets boy. Whatever.)
He thinks she is cute.
She thinks he is attractive. (This could be for any possible reasons, ranging from having a charming smile, deep voice, mannerisms, or simply because he's a noticeable character in the room, like the MC. The story will focus more on her, for reasons that would become obvious.)
They get to know each other. (The possibilities of how the order of events at this stage can vary are countless).
He shows interest in her work, hobbies, family, dog, and finds out she prefers freshly brewed, black coffee and considers instant coffee to be not real coffee.
She thinks he is interesting, humourous, attentive, manly, decisive, caring, clever, etc.
They have more opportunities to meet in a group setting and find that they some how end up talking to each other.
On one of these occassions, he asks if she will go shopping with him to buy a gift for his mother's birthday (his mother for the past 25 years!)
They have a good time together and enjoyed each other's company.
They find that they share a lot of things in common, for example their common passion for Liverpool and have a common enemy in Manchaster United (Too bad I'm telling the story!)
Although it is more likely they discover a shared liking for Japanese anime and maybe a common dislike for chilli! (Come on, I told you I was telling the story.)
Anyways they have dinner together and made plans to meet up again to compare their Japanese anime collection. (Telling of the generation perhaps?)
In the mean time, he sends her funny sms-es, and she in turn forwards him interesting emails.
They meet up at a mall one evening after work and after dinner, he suggested they catch one of the movies that was playing.
She didn't think much about that movie but went along because after all, it's Friday night.
(Fast forward)
They have been chatting on the internet almost daily the last 3 months. (This should alert you to where this might be going)
They have gone out together a few more times since then. Nothing special and it just seems like one was always game when the other comes up with a suggestion.
He tells her how comfortable he feels talking about stuff with her and how she is the only one who really understands him. He can be his true self with her and knows that she will still accept him. (Can you smell trouble brewing?)
Upon hearing this, it caused her heart to missed a beat and in her heart she knew she felt the same way about him too. She told him how much she appreciates his friendship too.
As time goes on, he continues to pay special attention to her and seem to be concerned for her needs. For example, he would buy her cough drops after hearing her coughing on a certain occassion. He would know when she is feeling uncomfortable with a person smoking behind her and offer to exchange places with her, although he cannot stand the smell of secondary smoke himself. He gives her lifts when they are going to a common event because he knows she does not like driving at night and he thinks it is not safe for her to drive home alone.
Very soon, she begins to develop feelings for him.
As her feelings for him grew, she begins to notice the little things that he did for her and was not doing for any other girls.
Around this time, their friends started teasing them about the possiblity of them becoming a couple.
He brushes them off and seem to be unaffected by their remarks.
She tries to hint to him of her interest, sharing about her ideal house, her idea of a romantic vacation spot, preference to have small dogs because they are less intimidating for young children.
Prodded by her, he shares about his dreams for his future, which include rising the ranks in his career, owning his dream car and having a family whom he can share his success with.
She cannot help but wonder if he had her in mind when she was talking about his future family.
As the days go by, she finds it increasingly difficult to get him out of her mind. He comes to mind, almost out of nowhere and she does not understand how everything around her seems to remind her of him.
On a few occassion, he notices that she gets agitated easily and seem to be very sensitive. When he enquires with her if anything is bothering her, only to receive an abrupt 'Nothing'. (Some guys instinctively know that a curt 'Nothing' is usually spells bad news.)
She tries again to prod and asks him what he think of the teasing of their friends. His reply was merely to ignore them and they will eventually get tired of it.
Almost against her will, hope begins to be birthed in her. She tries to convince herself otherwise, but then again, he didn't outrightly say No to the idea as well. She can't help wondering why he does not asks her to be his special girlfriend.
(It's obvious this is set in a conservative context. If left to Hollywood, they would have slept together by now, probably on a regular basis, and having to manage a major crisis in their relationship at this stage of the story.)
At this point, she consults a few of her friends (Actually she may have been sharing all this time with her closer friends.)
She needs help to decide what is her best course of action? Her options:
a. Confront him and ask him if he likes her.
b. Get a common friend to find out.
c. Forget the whole business and stay friendship.
For the sake of continuing the story, let's say she chooses a. She approaches it subtly, asking him if he ever thought of them as being more than just friends.
He answers (drum roll.... and his answer is of course crucial) and tells her that he treats her as a very good friend, even a special friend. In fact she's his best buddy among his girl friends. He doesn't think she should be affected by all the silly, meaningless teasings because he does not want her to be hurt.
She answers him with a meaningless mumble and changes the subject. Within her, her heart weeps silent tears.
Ok, this is not my attempt to write a play, script for a new movie, or plot for a romantic novel. But it does sound familiar right? My question is 'What is the guy thinking?'
a. Is he really so thick and simply don't get the girl's hints and clueless that the girl has feelings for him? Does he really expect the girl to read his actions as merely being a 'buddy'?
b. Is he being reckless about her feelings that although he senses her interest in him, continues to encourage it simply because he enjoys the attention and wants to have it as long as he can?
c. Is he trying to keep things vague and have his options open, so that he can change his mind if a better choice comes along, but if not, settle for this?
d. Is he keeping the possiblity open because he is unsure of his own feelings?
I know it does not sound very positive and I don't think the girl is absolved from all responsibility for how things have turned out. Yet, this scenario is scarily common. And painfully so. How different would your answer be, if I added a tiny detail which I missed - the guy is married? The truth is these sort of things can happen even if either party is married. Worse would be if he were to tell the lady jokingly, "If I'm not married, I'll definitely choose someone like you!".
This is probably why girls are often warned not to give their hearts and invest emotionally in a relationship until she is very sure where the guy stands. Good guy friends of mine tell me that if a guy really likes a gal, he will come outright and 'declare' his intentions to her in no uncertain terms. Yes, there is a fear of rejection, but I think that a guy's make up is such that he will overcome that fear. If a guy is unwilling to take the risk to initiate a relationship, one wonders how much he really values it in the first place? I'm not an old-fashioned kind of person (very far from it in fact!) to think that only a guy can make the first step, but I think unless a guy spells out his intentions in no uncertain terms, a girl would be wise to withhold her heart and be careful not to allow 'hope' to build up, resulting in very unncessary heartache and ruining a very good friendship. On the other hand, I am very much against these sort of 'fishing' activities by guys. I think it is being reckless and negligence about the other party's feelings, and being completely selfishness, on a guy's part. It is unfair to play games with a girl's heart, if you are uncertain of your feelings and intentions. Of course, I'm not going to mention what I think of such flirtatious and suggestive remarks in the case where either party is married.
I believe we all have a part to play in guarding each other's heart as well as our own. That is part of loving our neighbour.
In the Beginning....
Boy meets girl (or if you prefer, girl meets boy. Whatever.)
He thinks she is cute.
She thinks he is attractive. (This could be for any possible reasons, ranging from having a charming smile, deep voice, mannerisms, or simply because he's a noticeable character in the room, like the MC. The story will focus more on her, for reasons that would become obvious.)
They get to know each other. (The possibilities of how the order of events at this stage can vary are countless).
He shows interest in her work, hobbies, family, dog, and finds out she prefers freshly brewed, black coffee and considers instant coffee to be not real coffee.
She thinks he is interesting, humourous, attentive, manly, decisive, caring, clever, etc.
They have more opportunities to meet in a group setting and find that they some how end up talking to each other.
On one of these occassions, he asks if she will go shopping with him to buy a gift for his mother's birthday (his mother for the past 25 years!)
They have a good time together and enjoyed each other's company.
They find that they share a lot of things in common, for example their common passion for Liverpool and have a common enemy in Manchaster United (Too bad I'm telling the story!)
Although it is more likely they discover a shared liking for Japanese anime and maybe a common dislike for chilli! (Come on, I told you I was telling the story.)
Anyways they have dinner together and made plans to meet up again to compare their Japanese anime collection. (Telling of the generation perhaps?)
In the mean time, he sends her funny sms-es, and she in turn forwards him interesting emails.
They meet up at a mall one evening after work and after dinner, he suggested they catch one of the movies that was playing.
She didn't think much about that movie but went along because after all, it's Friday night.
(Fast forward)
They have been chatting on the internet almost daily the last 3 months. (This should alert you to where this might be going)
They have gone out together a few more times since then. Nothing special and it just seems like one was always game when the other comes up with a suggestion.
He tells her how comfortable he feels talking about stuff with her and how she is the only one who really understands him. He can be his true self with her and knows that she will still accept him. (Can you smell trouble brewing?)
Upon hearing this, it caused her heart to missed a beat and in her heart she knew she felt the same way about him too. She told him how much she appreciates his friendship too.
As time goes on, he continues to pay special attention to her and seem to be concerned for her needs. For example, he would buy her cough drops after hearing her coughing on a certain occassion. He would know when she is feeling uncomfortable with a person smoking behind her and offer to exchange places with her, although he cannot stand the smell of secondary smoke himself. He gives her lifts when they are going to a common event because he knows she does not like driving at night and he thinks it is not safe for her to drive home alone.
Very soon, she begins to develop feelings for him.
As her feelings for him grew, she begins to notice the little things that he did for her and was not doing for any other girls.
Around this time, their friends started teasing them about the possiblity of them becoming a couple.
He brushes them off and seem to be unaffected by their remarks.
She tries to hint to him of her interest, sharing about her ideal house, her idea of a romantic vacation spot, preference to have small dogs because they are less intimidating for young children.
Prodded by her, he shares about his dreams for his future, which include rising the ranks in his career, owning his dream car and having a family whom he can share his success with.
She cannot help but wonder if he had her in mind when she was talking about his future family.
As the days go by, she finds it increasingly difficult to get him out of her mind. He comes to mind, almost out of nowhere and she does not understand how everything around her seems to remind her of him.
On a few occassion, he notices that she gets agitated easily and seem to be very sensitive. When he enquires with her if anything is bothering her, only to receive an abrupt 'Nothing'. (Some guys instinctively know that a curt 'Nothing' is usually spells bad news.)
She tries again to prod and asks him what he think of the teasing of their friends. His reply was merely to ignore them and they will eventually get tired of it.
Almost against her will, hope begins to be birthed in her. She tries to convince herself otherwise, but then again, he didn't outrightly say No to the idea as well. She can't help wondering why he does not asks her to be his special girlfriend.
(It's obvious this is set in a conservative context. If left to Hollywood, they would have slept together by now, probably on a regular basis, and having to manage a major crisis in their relationship at this stage of the story.)
At this point, she consults a few of her friends (Actually she may have been sharing all this time with her closer friends.)
She needs help to decide what is her best course of action? Her options:
a. Confront him and ask him if he likes her.
b. Get a common friend to find out.
c. Forget the whole business and stay friendship.
For the sake of continuing the story, let's say she chooses a. She approaches it subtly, asking him if he ever thought of them as being more than just friends.
He answers (drum roll.... and his answer is of course crucial) and tells her that he treats her as a very good friend, even a special friend. In fact she's his best buddy among his girl friends. He doesn't think she should be affected by all the silly, meaningless teasings because he does not want her to be hurt.
She answers him with a meaningless mumble and changes the subject. Within her, her heart weeps silent tears.
Ok, this is not my attempt to write a play, script for a new movie, or plot for a romantic novel. But it does sound familiar right? My question is 'What is the guy thinking?'
a. Is he really so thick and simply don't get the girl's hints and clueless that the girl has feelings for him? Does he really expect the girl to read his actions as merely being a 'buddy'?
b. Is he being reckless about her feelings that although he senses her interest in him, continues to encourage it simply because he enjoys the attention and wants to have it as long as he can?
c. Is he trying to keep things vague and have his options open, so that he can change his mind if a better choice comes along, but if not, settle for this?
d. Is he keeping the possiblity open because he is unsure of his own feelings?
I know it does not sound very positive and I don't think the girl is absolved from all responsibility for how things have turned out. Yet, this scenario is scarily common. And painfully so. How different would your answer be, if I added a tiny detail which I missed - the guy is married? The truth is these sort of things can happen even if either party is married. Worse would be if he were to tell the lady jokingly, "If I'm not married, I'll definitely choose someone like you!".
This is probably why girls are often warned not to give their hearts and invest emotionally in a relationship until she is very sure where the guy stands. Good guy friends of mine tell me that if a guy really likes a gal, he will come outright and 'declare' his intentions to her in no uncertain terms. Yes, there is a fear of rejection, but I think that a guy's make up is such that he will overcome that fear. If a guy is unwilling to take the risk to initiate a relationship, one wonders how much he really values it in the first place? I'm not an old-fashioned kind of person (very far from it in fact!) to think that only a guy can make the first step, but I think unless a guy spells out his intentions in no uncertain terms, a girl would be wise to withhold her heart and be careful not to allow 'hope' to build up, resulting in very unncessary heartache and ruining a very good friendship. On the other hand, I am very much against these sort of 'fishing' activities by guys. I think it is being reckless and negligence about the other party's feelings, and being completely selfishness, on a guy's part. It is unfair to play games with a girl's heart, if you are uncertain of your feelings and intentions. Of course, I'm not going to mention what I think of such flirtatious and suggestive remarks in the case where either party is married.
I believe we all have a part to play in guarding each other's heart as well as our own. That is part of loving our neighbour.
Dawn of a New Term
I had a wonderful Christmas break the past few weeks. Can't remember having such a good break in my working life. This is such a luxury. Even the fact that I've been working 2 full days a week the last 2 weeks did not spoil my holidays! In fact I'm glad I got to do that, since I won't be able to do as much when term resumes, although it would be more than what I was putting in last term. Yes, I am very enthusiastic about my part-time job.
It's been a great time of fellowship, eating lots of yummy food and spending time with different folks, making new friends and getting to know existing ones better. Enjoyed the short carolling session at the old folks' home. Watched a number of movies, of which I only paid full price to watch on one (Narnia) in the cinema and rented the DVD for another. It was great time of catching up with pleasure reading... habit of reading multiple books simultaenously- completed 3, almost done with the 4th book, more than half way through the 5th, started on the 6th and 7th! Did some shopping - my first Boxing Day/Week/Month Sale here (yeah, some shops are still on Sale); visited 2 churches; helped to house-sit for my friend who went back to Malaysia with his family for a month-long holiday. Had my first experience of driving in Canada - that was fun. Had a TV in my room for about 2 weeks as I was helping to 'look after' my housemate's TV when he went back to Phillipines for Christmas. Considering that I've not really watched TV since I came in end of June, I was pretty sane, even though I found out I actually have access to cable TV in my room! Love the renovations and DIY programs, especially those involving in major makeover... they have a whole channel dedicated to these stuff. Did quite a bit of walking and swimming. Went with some friends to the Vancouver Art Gallery on Tue, which is the evening of the week that entrance is by donation rather than the usual entrance charges, after 5pm. However since this was the final week for the exhibition on Picasso's work, the queue was exceptionally long, that is easily went on for about 100m outside the Gallery. Obviously everybody else had the same bright idea! Managed to do a little reading up for class... just very little!
Overall I think it was a very good break. I am truly grateful for this precious time. I'm looking forward to the term to resume. I didn't think I'll be saying this. I know it will not be the easiest with probably more load studies wise and having to put in more hours in the part-time job. Am looking to Him for strength and grace to see me through. Will have to put in my application to renew my scholarship some time later. Praying for His favour and committing it all into His hands. It's all very exciting really. I've seen how He's provided since I've arrived here and I am never tired about sharing about how He's blessed me, in every way. I know I've recounted my blessings, but especially in material terms, I've been completely balled over. I've received countless blessings and they have come through diverse means, from gifts, inherited from people leaving Vancouver, seniors and even people I have no idea who they are. Stuff I've received include cooking utensils, like pot, pan, slow cooker(!), rice cooker (plastic one that cooks rice in the microwave), toaster; plates, mugs and cutleries; basic stuff to get me started on cooking like salt, oil, sugar, rice, soya sauce, oyster sauce, 'hoi-sin' sauce, salad dressing, mustard, cheese spread, etc, besides lots of other foodstuff. The list goes on ... a good condition phone, stash of good condition Thank You cards and blank cards, complete with envelopes, boxes of tissue paper, a scent burner made of clay (my favourite kind) and bagful of tealight candles (In fact I was praying for these items cause I didn't want to spend money on such extras!), 2 pairs of jeans (that fit), countless t-shirts and tops, sweater, fleece jacket, very good looking Gap raincoat, another rain-proof jacket with lining, a pair of snow boots, a smart looking hat (seen in some of my photos; Canadians call it a tuque), a straw mat for sitting in the park in summer, a small corkboard, a steam iron (the one I brought does not have suitable voltage and power point), quilt (2 sets!), sleeping bag (on long-term loan), pillow, 1 set of bed linens complete with 1 fitted sheet, 1 flat sheet and 2 pillow cases .... So far I've managed to borrow most of my textbooks or bought them at a very good bargain from seniors.
I'm constantly amazed at His abundant provision. Overwhelmed. A friend of mine shared about how humbling it feels to be on the receiving end. It's not easy and we had to learn to receive graciously. Yet to be careful not to have a hoarding or 'begging' mentality. It really teaches us that nothing belongs to us and if we find a need, there is a sense of freedom to give to others and share what we have. It is very liberating. My motto has been 'Silver or gold I don't have, but I am more than happy to share whatever I have!' So far I've been able to 'give away' cooking utensils, mugs, plates, cutleries, food stuff and even loan my friend a bike (I have been given custody of it from another student who comes up from the States once a year to do summer courses), complete with a helmet. I've never failed to have enough food to feed various folks when they came around.
I've always been a firm believer that a person's rich-ness is not measured by what one has, but by what one is able to give away. I know I've met some of very generous people upon joining full-time. It used to perplex me. Many of them are not what you would term as rich but they are constantly sharing, sometimes even out of their need. This has left a deep impression on me. I've seen how they took the initiative to raise fund to give to one of the pastors when he had a big financial need. I know it's not just a one-off incident but an internalised value, having observed it being practised consistently for the few years I was there. Of course, it's not just about money ... a number of them responded almost immediately and came to my aid when I met with an accident near the church, just before I left. These are the things I will always remember.
I pray He will continue to give me the ability and privilege to give ... freely, materially and otherwise. I want to give my time, friendship, service and abilities - to give of myself; to show my love and concern both in words and in action, by His grace.
It's been a great time of fellowship, eating lots of yummy food and spending time with different folks, making new friends and getting to know existing ones better. Enjoyed the short carolling session at the old folks' home. Watched a number of movies, of which I only paid full price to watch on one (Narnia) in the cinema and rented the DVD for another. It was great time of catching up with pleasure reading... habit of reading multiple books simultaenously- completed 3, almost done with the 4th book, more than half way through the 5th, started on the 6th and 7th! Did some shopping - my first Boxing Day/Week/Month Sale here (yeah, some shops are still on Sale); visited 2 churches; helped to house-sit for my friend who went back to Malaysia with his family for a month-long holiday. Had my first experience of driving in Canada - that was fun. Had a TV in my room for about 2 weeks as I was helping to 'look after' my housemate's TV when he went back to Phillipines for Christmas. Considering that I've not really watched TV since I came in end of June, I was pretty sane, even though I found out I actually have access to cable TV in my room! Love the renovations and DIY programs, especially those involving in major makeover... they have a whole channel dedicated to these stuff. Did quite a bit of walking and swimming. Went with some friends to the Vancouver Art Gallery on Tue, which is the evening of the week that entrance is by donation rather than the usual entrance charges, after 5pm. However since this was the final week for the exhibition on Picasso's work, the queue was exceptionally long, that is easily went on for about 100m outside the Gallery. Obviously everybody else had the same bright idea! Managed to do a little reading up for class... just very little!
Overall I think it was a very good break. I am truly grateful for this precious time. I'm looking forward to the term to resume. I didn't think I'll be saying this. I know it will not be the easiest with probably more load studies wise and having to put in more hours in the part-time job. Am looking to Him for strength and grace to see me through. Will have to put in my application to renew my scholarship some time later. Praying for His favour and committing it all into His hands. It's all very exciting really. I've seen how He's provided since I've arrived here and I am never tired about sharing about how He's blessed me, in every way. I know I've recounted my blessings, but especially in material terms, I've been completely balled over. I've received countless blessings and they have come through diverse means, from gifts, inherited from people leaving Vancouver, seniors and even people I have no idea who they are. Stuff I've received include cooking utensils, like pot, pan, slow cooker(!), rice cooker (plastic one that cooks rice in the microwave), toaster; plates, mugs and cutleries; basic stuff to get me started on cooking like salt, oil, sugar, rice, soya sauce, oyster sauce, 'hoi-sin' sauce, salad dressing, mustard, cheese spread, etc, besides lots of other foodstuff. The list goes on ... a good condition phone, stash of good condition Thank You cards and blank cards, complete with envelopes, boxes of tissue paper, a scent burner made of clay (my favourite kind) and bagful of tealight candles (In fact I was praying for these items cause I didn't want to spend money on such extras!), 2 pairs of jeans (that fit), countless t-shirts and tops, sweater, fleece jacket, very good looking Gap raincoat, another rain-proof jacket with lining, a pair of snow boots, a smart looking hat (seen in some of my photos; Canadians call it a tuque), a straw mat for sitting in the park in summer, a small corkboard, a steam iron (the one I brought does not have suitable voltage and power point), quilt (2 sets!), sleeping bag (on long-term loan), pillow, 1 set of bed linens complete with 1 fitted sheet, 1 flat sheet and 2 pillow cases .... So far I've managed to borrow most of my textbooks or bought them at a very good bargain from seniors.
I'm constantly amazed at His abundant provision. Overwhelmed. A friend of mine shared about how humbling it feels to be on the receiving end. It's not easy and we had to learn to receive graciously. Yet to be careful not to have a hoarding or 'begging' mentality. It really teaches us that nothing belongs to us and if we find a need, there is a sense of freedom to give to others and share what we have. It is very liberating. My motto has been 'Silver or gold I don't have, but I am more than happy to share whatever I have!' So far I've been able to 'give away' cooking utensils, mugs, plates, cutleries, food stuff and even loan my friend a bike (I have been given custody of it from another student who comes up from the States once a year to do summer courses), complete with a helmet. I've never failed to have enough food to feed various folks when they came around.
I've always been a firm believer that a person's rich-ness is not measured by what one has, but by what one is able to give away. I know I've met some of very generous people upon joining full-time. It used to perplex me. Many of them are not what you would term as rich but they are constantly sharing, sometimes even out of their need. This has left a deep impression on me. I've seen how they took the initiative to raise fund to give to one of the pastors when he had a big financial need. I know it's not just a one-off incident but an internalised value, having observed it being practised consistently for the few years I was there. Of course, it's not just about money ... a number of them responded almost immediately and came to my aid when I met with an accident near the church, just before I left. These are the things I will always remember.
I pray He will continue to give me the ability and privilege to give ... freely, materially and otherwise. I want to give my time, friendship, service and abilities - to give of myself; to show my love and concern both in words and in action, by His grace.
Thursday, January 12, 2006
I'm all ears
I was sharing with a friend here last Sunday on the journey of my heart. We spent the day together with another friend of hers, who's here in Vancouver for a visit. I found myself telling my friend things that I've not told anyone or even gave much thought to. Nothing particularly private but some pretty personal stuff. It was the first time I've actually tracked this aspect of my own journey in almost 'one sitting'. She asked a very perceptive question which made me think and kind of turned the light on within me on certain issues. It was pretty amazing. I know it's terrible for me to be speaking in codes and not actually saying what we've discussed. I am sorry. Anyways, the highlight was, as I later reflected on all that I've shared, some things about myself started to dawn upon me and I began to notice patterns in my behaviour that I've failed to observe before. It made me see what drives me and understand better some of my own actions. I am quite amazed and rather amused. I've always wondered why some of my actions seem to be such extreme polarities and self-contradictory. When I had this insight, I could easily reconcile these conflicts. For those who are familiar with Johari Window, this incident helped to increase my self-awareness.
I believe such attentive listening is a gift and loving service we can give one another, which is worth more than gold. It's very affirming when someone is willing to give their time to hear you out. In fact I took a course last summer on 'Contemplative Listening' and realised how much effort it really takes to listen intently to another person! It means we have to resist interrupting or being quick to share our own story. It's not even about the great insights we can shed on what the person has shared. We give of ourselves when we offer hospitality of friendship to others and give them space to be themselves and to open up without fear; fear of rejection, ridicule, betrayal of trust, etc. It's an honour we pay to another when we listen attentively to them. And we never know how God can speak to the person even through our listening!
I believe such attentive listening is a gift and loving service we can give one another, which is worth more than gold. It's very affirming when someone is willing to give their time to hear you out. In fact I took a course last summer on 'Contemplative Listening' and realised how much effort it really takes to listen intently to another person! It means we have to resist interrupting or being quick to share our own story. It's not even about the great insights we can shed on what the person has shared. We give of ourselves when we offer hospitality of friendship to others and give them space to be themselves and to open up without fear; fear of rejection, ridicule, betrayal of trust, etc. It's an honour we pay to another when we listen attentively to them. And we never know how God can speak to the person even through our listening!
Saturday, January 07, 2006
Picking on Pride
Pride is a really sneaky enemy. I think it's the hardest to tackle and is the root for many other sins. It's like having your shadow as your enemy. Most of the time you barely notice it sticking it's ugly head out. Just to illustrate my point. I like it when I get things right or when I'm good at something. I like it better if people know about it. The best would be if people discovered I'm right/ good at something and I didn't have to tell them myself! Sounds familiar? Someone used to say that I am not only proud, but I'm proud to be proud. So sad right? No feelings of remorse. It's not exactly a great testimony I know. Recently I had a glimpse of my pride in action and no, I'm not proud of it. I'm ashamed of it but it only goes to show how slippery it is to watch over our own soul, and impossible without the help of the Holy Spirit.
There's a Regent student here from Malaysia whom I found to be pretty impressive when I first got here. He's about my age, brilliant student (academic scholarship), studied writing under Chaim Potok (a reknown Jewish author) and used to work as a journalist for AP (an international news distributor). Led a pretty interesting life basically and he was the Teaching Assistant (TA) for my first course, Old Testament Theology, with Prof Bruce Waltke. It is generally agreed that this was a pretty tough course (yes, I was being a little ambitious) and he grades the papers for this course! In summary, I think that's a WOW combination. Anyways, I think subconsciously I wanted to impress him too. Before you get any ideas, he's married. I guess I did a pretty a good job ;P Recently a common friend told me that this guy had commented how quite a few people had struggled with that course and didn't get more than a C grade. Thus I should take it as a compliment for him to have awarded me a B+, and considering this was the first course I took in Regent.
Then just the other day, over dinner, he made a remark that made me want to laugh. After discovering that I was not good at eating spicy food, he exclaimed "I finally found a flaw in you!" Obviously he was joking. He was simply aghast to discover a fellow Malaysian who is not good at handling spicy food. I could not help laughing to myself at his remark because it is apparent that he does not know me very well. My flaws are huge and numerous, one gotta be blind to miss them or blatantly ignore them! We went on later to talked about my interest in Christian Spirituality and the spiritual retreats I used to take even when I was back in KL. He didn't expect that kind of stuff to come from someone who works as a pastor in FGA, and was further impressed perhaps! ;) I can see he is discovering how I do not fit the conventional 'moulds'. As my young friend said, I take pride in that too!
I am not trying to make a big deal about the above story but I think it does reveal the proud and deceitful nature of the heart; of my heart. How often do I do things because I want to impress others, including people I don't really care about? This can be achieved in a myriad of ways and the worst part is when it is guised with spirituality and false humility. The long queues, lining up in the rain outside shops like Salvatore Ferragamo on Boxing Day Sale, made me wonder the extent we are willing to go to impress our neighbours. I believe people do not purchase these products for that reason alone and that these products do bear excellent designs and workmanship, but I am uncertain if the former considerations do not play a big part too. Some go out on a limb to impress people they don't really know and maybe don't even like!
The Bible says that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom; and the fear of men, a snare. I don't think it is easy for us to humble ourselves. But nevertheless we must not cease to wage war against Pride. With man, it may be impossible but with God, nothing is impossible.
There's a Regent student here from Malaysia whom I found to be pretty impressive when I first got here. He's about my age, brilliant student (academic scholarship), studied writing under Chaim Potok (a reknown Jewish author) and used to work as a journalist for AP (an international news distributor). Led a pretty interesting life basically and he was the Teaching Assistant (TA) for my first course, Old Testament Theology, with Prof Bruce Waltke. It is generally agreed that this was a pretty tough course (yes, I was being a little ambitious) and he grades the papers for this course! In summary, I think that's a WOW combination. Anyways, I think subconsciously I wanted to impress him too. Before you get any ideas, he's married. I guess I did a pretty a good job ;P Recently a common friend told me that this guy had commented how quite a few people had struggled with that course and didn't get more than a C grade. Thus I should take it as a compliment for him to have awarded me a B+, and considering this was the first course I took in Regent.
Then just the other day, over dinner, he made a remark that made me want to laugh. After discovering that I was not good at eating spicy food, he exclaimed "I finally found a flaw in you!" Obviously he was joking. He was simply aghast to discover a fellow Malaysian who is not good at handling spicy food. I could not help laughing to myself at his remark because it is apparent that he does not know me very well. My flaws are huge and numerous, one gotta be blind to miss them or blatantly ignore them! We went on later to talked about my interest in Christian Spirituality and the spiritual retreats I used to take even when I was back in KL. He didn't expect that kind of stuff to come from someone who works as a pastor in FGA, and was further impressed perhaps! ;) I can see he is discovering how I do not fit the conventional 'moulds'. As my young friend said, I take pride in that too!
I am not trying to make a big deal about the above story but I think it does reveal the proud and deceitful nature of the heart; of my heart. How often do I do things because I want to impress others, including people I don't really care about? This can be achieved in a myriad of ways and the worst part is when it is guised with spirituality and false humility. The long queues, lining up in the rain outside shops like Salvatore Ferragamo on Boxing Day Sale, made me wonder the extent we are willing to go to impress our neighbours. I believe people do not purchase these products for that reason alone and that these products do bear excellent designs and workmanship, but I am uncertain if the former considerations do not play a big part too. Some go out on a limb to impress people they don't really know and maybe don't even like!
The Bible says that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom; and the fear of men, a snare. I don't think it is easy for us to humble ourselves. But nevertheless we must not cease to wage war against Pride. With man, it may be impossible but with God, nothing is impossible.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Insider on the outside
Nothing like reading about your own country from an outsider's perspective. I came across this American site trying to describe the practice of human rights in Malaysia (Link.) I think it is very interesting. Of course like all such articles, it has its share of biasness. I guess for me the feeling is like having an outsider telling you things about yourself. The insider's perspective of the same issues can differ greatly and even if we see the same things, we may feel very differently about them. One possible reason is we have our own internal set of values which will affect our evaluation of the issues. This is not always a matter of right or wrong but simply different. My concern however is that it gives a one-sided view of the situation and would breed fear about Malaysia, deterring them from this beautiful nation which has so much to offer.
The issue of religious freedom is a matter of concern. Quoting from this article,
Muslims who wished to convert from Islam faced severe obstacles. In 2001, a High Court judge rejected the application of a Malay woman who argued that she had converted to Christianity and requested that the term "Islam" be removed from her identity card. The judge ruled that an ethnic Malay is defined by the Federal Constitution as a "person who professes the religion of Islam." The judge also stated that only an Islamic court has jurisdiction to rule on the woman's supposed renunciation of Islam and conversion to Christianity. In 2002, the Court of Appeal upheld this decision. These rulings made conversion of Muslims nearly impossible in practice.
The recent case of M. Moorthy gives rise for concern. As reported in the International Herald Tribune:
"...a religious court declared that a deceased, M. Moorthy, a member of the first Malaysian team to climb Mount Everest, was a Muslim - and insisted that he be buried according to Muslim rites - despite the fact that he had been born a Hindu and, according to testimony by his wife and family, had never converted to Islam. The powers of the Muslim religious authorities were then confirmed by the High Court, which ruled it could not intervene in a decision by the religious court. In other words, in modern, multi-ethnic, inclusivist Malaysia, the religious courts are a law unto themselves."
We need to consider carefully the implications of this case. The widow in this case would have limited means to challenge the assertion of the Muslim authorities in the Syariah courts. I understand that the testimony of a non-Muslim will not be admissible in the Syariah courts. It is disturbing to see her denied the basic rule of law and provision for a fair hearing.
What should be our response as Christians in Malaysia? We need to arise from our slumber and place of comfort. This does not mean we simply and thoughtlessly react to the situation but a considered response is called for and perhaps even to take necessary action. Our apathy and inaction itself will bear a message.
The issue of religious freedom is a matter of concern. Quoting from this article,
Muslims who wished to convert from Islam faced severe obstacles. In 2001, a High Court judge rejected the application of a Malay woman who argued that she had converted to Christianity and requested that the term "Islam" be removed from her identity card. The judge ruled that an ethnic Malay is defined by the Federal Constitution as a "person who professes the religion of Islam." The judge also stated that only an Islamic court has jurisdiction to rule on the woman's supposed renunciation of Islam and conversion to Christianity. In 2002, the Court of Appeal upheld this decision. These rulings made conversion of Muslims nearly impossible in practice.
The recent case of M. Moorthy gives rise for concern. As reported in the International Herald Tribune:
"...a religious court declared that a deceased, M. Moorthy, a member of the first Malaysian team to climb Mount Everest, was a Muslim - and insisted that he be buried according to Muslim rites - despite the fact that he had been born a Hindu and, according to testimony by his wife and family, had never converted to Islam. The powers of the Muslim religious authorities were then confirmed by the High Court, which ruled it could not intervene in a decision by the religious court. In other words, in modern, multi-ethnic, inclusivist Malaysia, the religious courts are a law unto themselves."
We need to consider carefully the implications of this case. The widow in this case would have limited means to challenge the assertion of the Muslim authorities in the Syariah courts. I understand that the testimony of a non-Muslim will not be admissible in the Syariah courts. It is disturbing to see her denied the basic rule of law and provision for a fair hearing.
What should be our response as Christians in Malaysia? We need to arise from our slumber and place of comfort. This does not mean we simply and thoughtlessly react to the situation but a considered response is called for and perhaps even to take necessary action. Our apathy and inaction itself will bear a message.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Talents? Really?
I just finished watching the VCD of the Christmas musical put up by the Youth Church and team from my church back home. It's brilliant and very creative. Syabas for the wonderful performance! I'm thankful to Irene who sent me the VCD so that I can catch this display of talent and outstanding presentation. I love the combination of dance, stompers, rap, acting and singing. I think the the finale medley of carols was very well done and my favourite was Chu Yaw's original solo piece. I'm very impressed with the amount of work and practise put in, considering the number of people involved in putting up this production. It's so amazing to see how blessed we are with such a big pool of talented people who'd spend their time, energy, effort and holidays to put together a fantastic show like this! Our dear Sheena probably came home just in time to learn her lines! This indeed is a demonstration of the team's passion for God and their desire to glorify Him is clearly seen in the excellent production they brought together. As a result the body of Christ is blessed.
I'm currently reading 'Truly the Community: Romans 12 and How to be the Church' by Marva Dawn (among other books that I am trying to finish before the holidays are over!) One of the thing that strike me is how the body of Christ functions best when we each do our part and offer up our talents. Our gifts are unique although that does not mean it has to be rigidly or narrowly categorised. It is a thrill and tremendous blessing when we each do our part and give of ourselves and offer our talents gladly. As great as a violin or saxophone may sound, they make the best music when playing with others. The performance mentioned above is not something any single individual can pull off nor take credit for alone. A team was needed and it was only a team that is united can put up such a marvellous musical. Every member of the team has a role and each one was indispensable.
However I've also made some observations about gift distribution. Gift, by its nature, is something that cannot be earned and not given based on merit. So it's given to us and the Bible calls them 'charismata', thus they are in fact graces. I think of the parable of the talent and it seems to confirm that God does not distribute equal gifts to each person. Sure, everyone is given a portion of gifts as the Holy Spirit wills, and some gifts are more visible than others and tend to be given more honour. An example of this would perhaps be preaching and teaching, although that's not to say that they are really deserving of more honour than the person who is serving to prepare the elements for communion. When the servant who was given one talent, hid it in the ground and failed to invest it, he was severely reprimanded. His talent was taken from him and given to the one who already had 10! Some of us might have thought that's not so cool and wonder why He did not give it to the one who had 4 talents instead.
Another parable in the gospel of Matthew talks about a landowner who hired different batches of workers to work in his field. At the end of the day, he paid them all the same wages although the number of hours they worked differed. When those who worked the most part of the day voiced out about the inequality, they were chided and reminded that they had received their due wages. They were hired on the basis that they would be remunerated according to what he thinks is fair. However this sort of remuneration scheme would definitely attract a union strike in our days today.
Tell me does this fit your idea of fair? Nevertheless the truth is He gives different gifts to different folks and we are responsible for our lot and to do our best to do our part with what we have been given. We work best when we are working together in harmony with others in the body of Christ. It's not our business to look at our neighbour and wonder why we were not given certain gifts. It's not competitive but complimentary for the extension of His kingdom and for His glory's sake.
Talking about talents, I discovered a new talent. I had my first experience of left-hand driving for the first time over the Christmas hols. It was pretty cool. Took my friends to do some shopping few days before Christmas and during Boxing Week sale. These are among the busiest shopping seasons here. It's definitely different but I'm glad I've had a few opportunities to travel in cars to observe how the system works around here. Quite a feat and a cool experience.
I'm currently reading 'Truly the Community: Romans 12 and How to be the Church' by Marva Dawn (among other books that I am trying to finish before the holidays are over!) One of the thing that strike me is how the body of Christ functions best when we each do our part and offer up our talents. Our gifts are unique although that does not mean it has to be rigidly or narrowly categorised. It is a thrill and tremendous blessing when we each do our part and give of ourselves and offer our talents gladly. As great as a violin or saxophone may sound, they make the best music when playing with others. The performance mentioned above is not something any single individual can pull off nor take credit for alone. A team was needed and it was only a team that is united can put up such a marvellous musical. Every member of the team has a role and each one was indispensable.
However I've also made some observations about gift distribution. Gift, by its nature, is something that cannot be earned and not given based on merit. So it's given to us and the Bible calls them 'charismata', thus they are in fact graces. I think of the parable of the talent and it seems to confirm that God does not distribute equal gifts to each person. Sure, everyone is given a portion of gifts as the Holy Spirit wills, and some gifts are more visible than others and tend to be given more honour. An example of this would perhaps be preaching and teaching, although that's not to say that they are really deserving of more honour than the person who is serving to prepare the elements for communion. When the servant who was given one talent, hid it in the ground and failed to invest it, he was severely reprimanded. His talent was taken from him and given to the one who already had 10! Some of us might have thought that's not so cool and wonder why He did not give it to the one who had 4 talents instead.
Another parable in the gospel of Matthew talks about a landowner who hired different batches of workers to work in his field. At the end of the day, he paid them all the same wages although the number of hours they worked differed. When those who worked the most part of the day voiced out about the inequality, they were chided and reminded that they had received their due wages. They were hired on the basis that they would be remunerated according to what he thinks is fair. However this sort of remuneration scheme would definitely attract a union strike in our days today.
Tell me does this fit your idea of fair? Nevertheless the truth is He gives different gifts to different folks and we are responsible for our lot and to do our best to do our part with what we have been given. We work best when we are working together in harmony with others in the body of Christ. It's not our business to look at our neighbour and wonder why we were not given certain gifts. It's not competitive but complimentary for the extension of His kingdom and for His glory's sake.
Talking about talents, I discovered a new talent. I had my first experience of left-hand driving for the first time over the Christmas hols. It was pretty cool. Took my friends to do some shopping few days before Christmas and during Boxing Week sale. These are among the busiest shopping seasons here. It's definitely different but I'm glad I've had a few opportunities to travel in cars to observe how the system works around here. Quite a feat and a cool experience.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
