Dine Out for Life

Last night I volunteered with Dine Out for Life, an AIDS Awareness event where restaurants contribute 25% of the bills for the evening towards charity organisations. It was a great experience, doing what I enjoy... meeting people and playing host. I chose to be stationed at a Singaporean restaurant downtown. It was really encouraging to see many people coming out for dinner specially to support this cause. I think this is a great way to promote AIDS awareness among young adults and encourage them to do charity at the same time. The needs are great to help those suffering with the disease and also their loved ones who are supporting them in battling this disease. We all must join hands to fight this battle for humanity.

Many of the patrons I met were gay, either as couples or in groups. It was good to see them hanging out in the regular joints and being comfortable doing so. I don't mean this in a pejorative manner but I think it's great to see many of them having a good time together, just like anyone else. I know it's hard for many of them to live under cover, and even in Vancouver, it's not always accepted. Of course it did cross my mind that some of them are good looking, well-groomed and have suave mannerism ... sigh. With so many women being single, this means there are less men who are available. Thus an eligible woman does not only compete against their female counterparts but also other men.

Just before that, I had come from a lecture and discussion on the sexual revolution that our society has gone through the past few decades. Sex has been detached from almost everything that we have associated it with traditionally. It's disintegrated from the process of procreation with surrogacy and artificial insemination. It's detached from the context of a lifelong covenantal relationship of marriage, with pre-marital sex and extramarital affairs. Sex is no longer determined by which sex we are, nor even need to be with another. Sex has become a commodity to be traded and used, a means of self-expression and to make one feel alive. As such, it is seen as valuable of itself, to satisfy one's needs and means for deriving pleasure. It's also a matter of performance by which one is judged on how good one is at sex.

Often sexual sin is given a special 'status' and stigma that is quite unlike others. As I prayed for the patrons that I met that evening, I asked myself, "Would God hear the prayer of a gay person?" The answer dawned on me (the fact it took a while reveals the state of my heart) and I became most certain He would. The reason I am so certain is simply because I know He hears mine, a sinner. I recently watched a play entitled Prodigal Son where the main character had turned away from God and became a gay. It was a very intense play as he slowly, realising that God does not turn away from him nor turn him away, makes his way back to God. My Lent reading material on the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen reminded of this play and Dr C. Everett Koop, who was featured in Soul Survivor. Koop puts it clearly when he said "I've noticed that Christians tend to get very angry toward others who sin differently than they do." Jesus loves my gay brother just as much as He does me and died for his sin equally.

As I reflect on the evening, I am sad by the awareness that probably not too many Christians would be invited to join such a party nor would they have been comfortable to be seen with such company. Jesus, on the other hand, I am certain, would have been totally comfortable hanging out with these friends and they likewise would be totally at ease with Him. I believe it has to do with how I perceive Christ. Instead of being completely honest and open with Him in my sinful state, I tend to focus on my sinful state, which makes me uncomfortable in His presence. I am more sin-conscious (conscious of my sins) than I am God-conscious. Rather, like Isaiah, I should let my awareness of His presence and holiness, lead me to realisation of my own sinful state. Then in this proper perspective, call out 'Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner!' In that state, I will perhaps be able to better represent Christ before others; instead of making them conscious of their sin and uncomfortable in my presence, humbly direct them to Christ.