Strive to be different

I've always strived to be different. I think strive is the word. One of the reason I guess it's because I refused to be boxed up and resent it when people try to do so. For example some are fond of making assumptions on what I should be like on the basis of my gender, culture, race, nationality, faith, profession, even personality types. It is so irritating. I can understand if someone simply told me that they prefer if I behaved in a certain manner and gave me sound and reasonable grounds for doing so. I find it hard to accept when someone prescribes a behaviour, which is usually contrary to my current behaviour, and the only justification they give is on one of the above grounds mentioned. For me that's simply not good enough. Who maintains this list anyway? As far as I'm concerned, it's the best kept secret. There's a line you probably are not even aware of until you've crossed it upon which you will be duly informed!

I believe one reason why many of us make assumptions is because it helps us figure out how people operate and try to 'understand' where people are coming from. On the other hand, can it be an unconscious attempt on our part to pressure people to conform to 'the standard'? We dress up our personal preferences under the guise of society's norms. At the end of the day, let's admit it, that many times, it's about keeping MY standards and meeting up to MY expectations. What is the value of such conformity? One that I can think of is it reinforces our beliefs and values when someone behaves as we expect them to. However if they do not fit the bill, do we feel challenged or that our values are being threatened, and thereby we need to 'protect' or defend them? Many hold fast to their expectations and feel good when they are proven right, and conversely, find it distressing when people don't do as they expect.

I admit I am a rare breed - a Chinese, lady (Christian) pastor who is an ex-lawyer, with a personality that is larger than life. I speak my mind freely, love coffee and football, enjoy driving (a little faster than some), am passionate about good books, good movies and good food, almost as charismatic in personality as in my theological position - LOL. These are just some examples. For many I don't fit the mould or traditional categories - the simple reason being THERE IS NO MOULD! Aaahhh... feels good just to get it out of my system. A friend of mine described me as unorthodox. I like the sound of that. I think Jesus was unorthodox. He certainly didn't fit the mould of what the people expected of a Messiah, which they have long awaited for. Of course having said that I am not claiming that I am anywhere as noble as my Master. Just for the sake of discussion and comparison. Martyn introduced me to another term - iconoclast. In a sense, I guess that does describe me. To the point that some feel I am anti-establishment. I guess for me, the focus is not on the establishment as in I do not intentionally set out to rebel against society’s norms but I do believe in submitting everything to Scripture. At the end of the day, all men’s ideas, preferences and practice should be submitted to the authority of Scripture. I will abide (try to anyway) and may even recommend certain behaviour which is not explicitly recommended by Scripture, but will be careful to not give it more weight then is due. It’s one thing to recommend it and explain grounds for doing so, rather than dish it out as prescribed norm.

At the end of the day, I am cautious and conscious of how we are quick to judge one another based on a person’s behaviour, speech, appearance, dressing, activities they are involved in, coupled with factors like gender, culture, race, nationality, faith, profession, even personality types. I suggest we drop some of these assumptions, presumptions and generalised ideas about others, and seek to get to know them as a unique individual. Find out from scratch, take it as face value and do everything we can know to learn about them. Then as much as we can, accept them as they are. We must resist the temptation to box them up, or worse still, pressure them to conform and be just like us! Well, in a sense, I am advocating some sort of change; change in our attitude which I believe will improve the way we relate with one another. My prayer is that we will extend grace to one another to be who we are and to become the best we can be as God has designed and desire us to be. If the world can experience this grace through us, I know they will be drawn to Him. And boy, does the church need much of such grace.

God is looking for unity (in diversity), not uniformity – ‘Purpose Driven Life’, Rick Warren (modified).

p/s: If you're new to my blog, this is just part of my reflection. Hope this did not shock your system too much! ;D It's probably my longest blog thus far.