Do you ever feel that your life is moving at such a fast pace that your soul can barely catch up? Sometimes I believe we push ourselves to the limit in this respect because we equate busyness with productivity. At the end of the day, we're spent and our minds and bodies are completely exhausted, and that's the only time people feel good about themselves. I should stop speaking in the second person ... I guess for me, the busyness is helpful at times when I'm trying to avoid facing up to certain issues that are really bothering me within. I try to keep myself so busy so that I don't have to think of them or face up to them. This is especially when I don't have the courage or the energy to do so. But this cannot go on.
Having said that, I have often forced myself to take time off. I don't often get to do that as much as I'd like to in my daily schedule, not disciplined enough to do so. Life is usually so busy, with so many things I want to do and so many people I want to spend time with, etc. Thus what I do is take time off to enjoy seasons of doing nothing and just slowing down. This practice of taking time off to be alone with myself, I feel, is one of the best things that I've learned to do and has helped me keep sane. I learn to tune off and unplug, switch off my handphone, get away from my normal environment and even try to avoid getting online. Believe me, it requires a lot of discipline and sometimes may even experience withdrawals! Many people think it's a luxury they cannot afford but I tell myself it's something I can't afford not to do. It is absolutely crucial to allow my soul to slow down, spend time reflecting and I find my spirit rejuvenated. It has helped me gain new perspectives of the situations I'm going through, tune in to what God is saying and it's also an opportunity to remind myself that I'm not indispensable... the world continues to run just fine even when I stop! That may be a distressing thought but I think it is also a very liberating thought!
The past few weeks have been most stressful. The list of incidents, accidents, close calls, etc just seem endless. I think I've had more drama in my life the last month or so is more than what I've seen in the past one year or maybe even 2, added up together! I think my stress indicator score has gone off the roof, even my body is protesting. The latest is I lost my voice as a result of a throat infection. My family is appalled that I'm on another dose of antibiotics and commented that they've not seen me fully recovered in the past month or so! Sigh. As I see it, things can only get better....
Looking unto Him as my source of strength, protection, peace, grace... basically for everything I need.
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