Friendship Ministry

It is not good for man to be alone. (Gen 2:18)

9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. (Ecc 4:9-12)

¹³Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.... ¹⁷This is my command: Love each other. (John 15 :13-15, 17)

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We are designed for relationship and friendship can only be God's idea. There are many levels of relating but I think friendship is one of the best gift we can give to one another. We offer our care, concern, to share our ups and downs, joys and pains ... we offer our very self! I use the word offer because that's all we can do. It is up to the other person to accept our offer. Nothing can take place until and unless this exchange takes place. The most priceless aspect in the offering of friendship, is that we offer another the freedom of friendship. My part is to offer to accept others as they are and give them the freedom to be their true self. I have personally found that the most enriching friendship are the ones who allow me to be who I am and yet believe in the best of me, to become the very person God is in the process of making me to be. This is one of the best expression of Love, True Love. Sure we may have dreams for our friends and encourage them towards these dreams, nevertheless love demands that I grant them grace and space to pursue their own dreams, and in the process realise the dreams God has planted in their hearts.

I am grateful to God for bringing precious friends along my path. Friends whose only demand is that I be true to myself and to God. In offering me this ministry of friendship, they let me catch a glimpse of God's love. Friends who rejoice at my achievements, are saddened when I'm in hurting, ache when I am involved in any behaviour that are harmful to my well-being, act as my sounding board when I need to sort out my thoughts, give me wise counsel (when solicited ;p), cheer me on when I fall, lift me up when I'm discouraged, keep on believing in me and refuse to give up on me when I'm tempted to give up on myself! They invite me to unmask, listen without judging or rejecting me, and affirm and assure me of their love when I feel unloved, unworthy and ugly. Of course I am not saying I can be all that to all my friends all the time but I hope to do the best I can to offer this gift and ministry of friendship to those I have a privilege of calling them my friends.

Bottomline, friendship is not a utilitarian concept. Our life is to be pitied more than anything if the only reason we make friends is for what we can get out of it. May we never go so low and reduce friendship to the point where it is only valued according to its utility.

The truth is when we allow somebody to enter our life in such a manner, our lives are knitted together and it is impossible for us not to rub off on each other. Often their influence over us is subversive and it is only in hindsight that we realise that their footprints have been imprinted in our hearts. And we are changed forever....