Superman, I am not

I was reading a few blogs from different folks and realised that many of us struggle with feelings of depression. It's not uncommon at all and I was saddened to find some who are very young struggling with this too. Life is tough. These are the first 3 words in M. Scott Peck's book, The Road Less Travelled. It's hard and the sooner we accept this, the better it would be. "Once we know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult. Because once it is accepted, the fact that life is difficult no longer matters." I think this goes especially for Christians. I find that many Christians have bought the idea that life is better, or at least is not meant to be difficult, just because we profess faith in Christ. In my years of walking with the Lord and as I seek to study the Word more faithfully, I'm not so sure. Life is tough ... and it's probably tougher for Christians. Why? Simply because the way of life in this world is hostile to those who refuse to buy into the world's system and values. We are declaring war with this world's principalities and powers when we choose to identify with Christ. With that, the Cross itself is a testimony that the world is at enmity with God and those who follow Him. We are told to bear our cross daily. We have hope in Christ and that is true, but it is not a hope for a better life in this world, I'm afraid. Christ warned us that if we are to follow Him we must take up our cross and be prepared for persecution. That is not to say we act foolishly and bring self-inflicted predicament upon ourselves. But it will not be a bed of roses. It is not hopelessness because I believe that in Christ there is hope that our efforts are not in vain, yet at the same time accept that this life is difficult. So we have hope that is not of this world, thus we do not strive but look to the ultimate hope we have in Christ. Does that mean life offers no joy? No comfort? Oh no. But joy in the Lord is knowing that we have been reconciled with God and called to live a life that has purpose and meaning. We're not merely existing and the hardships of life will not easily dissuade us from living for God. The comfort we receive from God is in the midst of all our tribulations - not in the absence of them (2 Cor 1:3-7). In fact Paul tells us that we share in his comfort precisely because we are also partakers of his suffering. I'm afraid it's false consolation to tell someone that following Christ means we will not struggle or will be spared from hardships.

Having said that, I must admit I am prone to feelings of depression myself and understand that the things that life throws at us can sometimes, if not often, seem overwhelming. So overwhelming that you feel you are incapable of facing them... to the point that you just want to shut out all the pain. When my friends tell me that life is fragile and that we can be called home anytime, sometimes, I wonder why it's taking so long. I long to be home. Longing to the point that it aches. Long for the day when I won't feel the sting of loneliness .... long to be delivered from this body that is broken and marred by sin, always inclining towards sin ... long to see the Father face to face, look into His eyes of love and hear Him whisper my name, full of love. I want to feel His embrace and I know I'm home. I'm safe. There's a song that goes "I can only imagine..." that talks about this day. (Link to the lyrics)

In the mean time, I continue on this journey, by His grace. I am depending on Him to carry me through daily because I can't... on my own, by my own strength. I do what I can, which is to hopelessly abandon myself to Him and His mercy. Also, I have a burden to share this journey with fellow pilgrims as we make our way home. That is the reason I was drawn to the pastoral ministry. It didn't take me long to realise that there's nothing I can do about their pain. I couldn't deliver anyone from their depression. I could offer no 'solution'. Some of us wish we were Superman, having the power to change the world and make a real difference, even between life and death! For me, watching Superman made me realise that he too is constantly fighting a losing battle. He can't solve all the problems of humanity and he has his limitations. For me, it was frustrating. Very frustrating.

I saw my friends hurting and some seem to have a much harder deal in life than others. I don't know why and sometimes wish life would give them a break. I admire them for their courage to face life. I don't blame them for feeling tired or discouraged because I don't know if I can do any better. I've since learned that I can't solve their problems but I can offer to stand with them as they faced those problems, or mine for that matter. I have no quick-fix and make no promises, but have only myself to offer - my companionship on this difficult journey. I know God is present with us in the midst of all these and has not left us alone; and I plant myself as a physical reminder of that presence. A reminder that ... He is at work in our lives; He has not abandoned us; He sees our suffering; He is not untouched by our pain; and most of all that He loves us. And I offer to pray. I'm not a super-spiritual prayer warrior and have my own struggles in my prayer life. But I pray not because of how 'great' or effective my prayer is, but to acknowledge He is in control, to affirm that He cares and hears our prayers. So for what it's worth, I lovingly bring them before the Lord in prayer, especially when they themselves are too weak even to pray. Is that good enough? I don't know. Does that make a difference? I hope.