Changes

God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end.

Life is about changes and learning to enjoy the adventure of journeying in life with Him. I can't see what's ahead and have no way of controlling how things will go. I can only trust Him, that He makes all things beautiful in its time.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

First Saturday night

What was the first Saturday night like?

Hopeless. Overwhelmed with grief. Emptiness. The pain of knowing that they will never see Him again, the one they have loved and followed the past 3 years. Guilty, for abandoning him when he really needed me. Ashamed. Maybe if I spoke up, he would not have died. Crushed dreams. Abandoned. Betrayed. Lost. Despair. Tears. Memories of the good times... his smile, his kindness to those who were usually ignored and outcast, his words and his look. His eyes would bore through me and felt like he saw right through me. He knew my every thought and deepest motives, yet there was no condemnation. They really hurt him. I could see his body writhe with pain. He didn't deserve to die, and definitely not like that. It's not fair!

Questions and more questions. Is this it? Was the past 3 years in vain and just a dream? Did he know this would happen? Why didn't he stop them? Why did he have to die and leave us all? Didn't he say he was the Messiah? Was that all a hoax, a lie, or perhaps a failed mission? But what about all the miracles? Where is Judas? What do we do now? Should I go back to my father's house and admit that I've been a fool? Peter goes fishing.

Silence.





Dead silence.





Sounds familiar?
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