Honest Worship

I've been thinking about how we worship, in light with the book 'Faking Church' that I've been reading. This book has given me lots of food for thought. One thing I noticed is that our worship songs are filled with 'feeling' words. I don't know about you but sometimes I find it hard to sing those songs, when I don't feel that way. I don't want to offer God praises with my lips when my heart seems so far from what I'm singing. Yes, there is a place where we have to proclaim by faith and sing what is true according to God's Word even when we don't 'feel' it is true. There is also a place of offering a sacrifice of praise, where we praise God for who He is and what He has done and those truths are objectively true even though it may not be how I perceive the reality of my present experience.

What I'm referring to is the state of our emotions and whether they are consistent with what we are singing, especially when many of the songs have words that describe our passion for Him. The ancient meaning for that word is suffering. The early church fathers were skeptical of passions, because it means to be responsive to an external influence. And for them, spirituality is about training ourselves not to be reactive and dependent on external factors, but that we be disciplined in our walk, not susceptible to external influences. Today, passion is often seen as an intense emotion. Can we really maintain that sort of passion about Christ and God all the time? Can we honestly sing these songs when we don't feel the passion? Perhaps we can, because someone once said, Passion is doing what you ought to do even when you don't feel like it. However I must say that I feel like a phoney singing "Yes, I'm so in love with You" when I don't feel the least bit in love with God.

Is our relationship with God dependent on our feelings? No and it shouldn't be but you can't deny that it plays a big part. I guess we can look at couples who are in love and also those who have been married for many years. Couples who are in love often feel very strong and intense emotions but we know that such highly charged emotions are not the basis for building a strong and lasting relationship, because what happens to the relationship when you no longer feel the passion for each other? However these emotions are very real and can make us believe that this must be the real thing. Yet we know that we cannot always trust our emotions at these points but need to give ourselves time for it to cool off, especially if we are making a life-changing decision based on them. The state of mind of someone who is infatuated is said to be no different than a person who is insane (temporary insanity), and are thus not in their right mind and it is usually unwise to make any major decisions in this state of mind. A long term marriage on the other hand can be full of passion, but it may feel very different even though the intensity and degree may not be any less that those of newly wed, or if not, more.

Some have suggested 'tweaking' some of the lyrics of the songs we sing. One speaker, Benny Ong, used to sing 'I surrender MORE', rather than 'I surrender ALL!'. So, perhaps one could sing, 'Jesus I want to be so in love with You' (Let my words be few), or add words like, 'Help me be ...', 'Teach me to...', etc. At the end of the day, I believe God sees our heart and know we want to worship Him in Spirit and in Truth.

How have you been tempted or tried?

I am currently leading a bible study among some of those who come for the Alpha group meetings, with a study on the book of James. The first thing that hits you in that book is 'Consider it all joy, my brothers and sisters, when you face trials of many kinds because you know the testing of your faith develops perseverance'. Well, James is a pretty direct kind of guy and does not bit around the bush. So when I came across the passage below in the Sayings of the Desert Fathers, I paused to consider what trials have the Lord brought my way and if I recognised them?

When the devil does not use the goads of poverty to tempt, he uses wealth for the purpose. When he cannot win by scorn and mockery, he tries praise and flattery. If he cannot win by providing health, he tries illness; if he cannot win by comfort, he tries to ruin the soul by vexations which lead a person to act against their vows (as a Christian) ... he does all these to shake the love we feel toward God.

We tend to equate suffering, bad stuff, unpleasant experiences as trials and are quick to say that these are from the devil ... this passage reminds me that I am not to quickly assume that wealth, good health and praises and flattery (or compliments and acknowledgments) are without their dangers. I'm not saying that these 'blessings' are not from God, however I am cautioned that the devil tries to use the things God intends for good, and turn it around to harm us. On the other hand, God is more than able to turn around what the enemy intends for our harm, and use it to make something good out of it. One of my prof (Chris Hall) said something that has stuck in my head, that is we should learn to distinguish the things that harm us and those that hurt us. While some experiences may hurt, they cannot necessarily harm us. Thus not all pain is bad. Sometimes pain is good - it informs us something is amiss and helps us to remove ourselves from potentially greater danger. A good book on this topic is 'The Gift of Pain' by Paul Brand Phillip Yancey. For a generation that has adopted 'happiness' and comfort as the ultimate goal of life and seek to avoid pain at all cost, this may sound jarring to our ears.

Pray anyway

Perhaps you can identify with the lyrics of this song. Pray anyway and keep praying.

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might not ever come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
Yea - I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea, sing it anyway
Yeah, yeah!

I sing
I dream
I love anyway

Album: Wake Up Laughing (2007)
Lyrics: Martina McBride, Brad and Brett Warren
Listen to it here.

Raw Fellowship

Recently I received a gift from a friend. It's a book entitled Faking Church. Yes, interesting title - don't ask me why he picked this book for me. It's a book that I believed God hand-picked for me for this season. I don't often receive books as gifts simply because my friends find it hard to buy me books, considering the number of books I already have ... too many that I lose track of them myself. There's one particular chapter that have kinda hit home for me and given me lots of food for thought. The topic is on friendship vs. fellowship in church. Prior to this, some have heard me talked about spiritual friendship. Aptly, someone has asked me if there was any difference between spiritual friendship and fellowship. The answer that I could think of was spiritual friendship, for me at least, is focused on the mutuality and intentionality of the relationship, where we intentionally 'mentor' (to use a marketplace terminology) each other towards spiritual growth. Fellowship is not necessarily as intentional and although intended to spur each other's spiritual growth, it is not quite as focused if you think of fellowship as being with the church at large.

The author points out that fellowship is different (although overlap in many ways) with friendship in that it is not based on shared interest or common background, but our common commitment to Christ. Fellowship is based on the fact that we're family, and it is not optional. We may not like each other very much in the natural sense and some of the deepest fellowships can be shared with people we're unlikely to have picked as our friends. Sure there will be some, if not many, in our fellowship that we also find easy to be friends with, but the point is we should be limited by those factors. We commit ourselves to our family members not because we necessarily like them or even are like them (though we may be more like them than we sometimes like to admit), but because we share a common identity. Fellowship is more than hanging out together socially, working together on a project or simply doing stuff together.

Thus I'm challenged to re-think fellowship and what it entails. Fellowship is intended for us to spur each other to grow spiritually. We may develop a deep friendship from the fellowship we share with each other, and this fellowship will continue through eternity. Hey, that's longer than how long a marriage will last, and marriage is as close as you get to another human being, in terms of being family and friend! We are called to be in fellowship … it's easy to do cyber friendship and virtual fellowship, but until we get to heaven, the local church is the real deal. Real people, real problems, real time fellowship. I imagine coming into a new church, is like being the new bride and meeting your in-laws. You probably won't like all of them instantly, some are warm and some treat you less than an outsider (they treat 'visitors' better than you). It takes a while to get used to their lingo, inside jokes, etc and we need to invest time in these relationships. But even if you feel like you don't belong, you do. You're part of the family and so are they. And these family relationships might even outlast our own natural family ties. That's one scary thought to ponder on…

Those who have ears

Take time to listen to the Word of God. In our culture of constant bombardment of visual images and noise, added to our practice of silent reading (which is a result of Enlightenment and foreign in antiquity) we are not very good at listening. In some of our churches we may not practise reading of Scriptures (whether silent or aloud) regularly. This is the main tenet of my proposed thesis and has been confirmed by the lecturers. Gordon Fee and Christopher Hall, in the classes I've been attending these few weeks. They strongly emphasize listening the Word - Chris calls it reading with the ears of our hearts.

For those who are interested here are 2 products you may want to consider.
1. TNIV Bible Experience - The New Testament has been released and named Audiobook of the Year, the most prestigious award for excellence in audiobooks, by the Audio Publishers Association (APA). Narrators include some top Hollywood personalities like Angela Bassett (Narrator), Cuba, Jr. Gooding (Narrator), Samuel L. Jackson (Narrator), T. D. Jakes (Narrator), Blair Underwood (Narrator).
See the video of the making at Zondervan site. The Complete Bible is scheduled to be released on 7th September.
Of course, listener should be mindful of their emphasis and pauses, which can affect our understanding of a particular passage.

2. NIV read by Max Maclean
This is read at a good pace with appropriate emphasis. You can listen the whole Bible online (free): NIV Audio. You can purchase it in MP3 or other audio format, or you can choose to download it. I have found his emphasis and dramatising easy to follow.


Finally BibleGateway offers free audio Bibles online (Max Maclean reads the NIV version). You can also get the other versions as well as Bible in other languages, as well as different Chinese dialect - this is especially helpful for those who are illiterate.

Fascination with dates

Yes, I have a thing about noting certain dates, like today's: 07.07.07! The best part is, this works no matter where you come from and what order you write your dates. Of course this only refers to the Roman calendar and does not apply to lunar or Muslim calendar.

p/s: Have you noticed how lawyers have a tendency to qualify and defend what they say even as they are saying it? I hope that does not irritate you. Can't help it.

In Loving Memory of Dr Koh Eng Kiat

Receiving news of Dr Koh's demise brought deep sadness in my heart. I know my church and his family, as well as many around the world who knows him, will mourn his loss. He is humble man that I respect and dearly love. I first got to know him in early 90s when my family shared an apartment with his wife during a church camp. Ever since that time, he learned the name of every family member and make mention of the rest whenever he saw one of us. I am grateful for the privilege to have served in FGA under his leadership. After my meeting with him before I left, I did wonder if it would be the last time I would see him. When he was taken very ill recently, I did pray that the Lord will let me see him one more time. Now I am torn by the fact that I can't be home for his funeral. I pray that the Lord will bless his soul and comfort all who grieve his departure.

Dr. Koh Eng Kiat

9 November 1924 – 29 June 2007

“What will be the measure of my days, weeks and years passed? How will my life be valued? What will matter is not what I bought, but what I have chosen to build. Not what I received, but what I have shared and given you. What will matter is not what I learned, But what I have taught. What will matter is every act of integrity, compassion, courage and sacrifice that enriched, empowered or encouraged others to emulate from my example. What will matter is not my competence, but my integrity and character; my true grit. What will matter is not how many people I have known, rich or poor, but how many will feel a lasting loss when I am gone. What will matter are not my faded memories, but the memories of those who knew and have loved me.”

When the trumpet of the Lord shall sound, and time shall be no more; And the morning breaks, eternal, bright and fair; When the saved of earth shall gather over on the other shore, And the roll is called up yonder, Dr Koh’ll be there

By the grace of God, when the roll is called up yonder, may all of us be there.

Memorial Services:
Saturday (30 June 07), 08.30pm

Sunday (01 July 07)
07.30am, 11.00am, 02.30pm, 08.30pm

Funeral service at L5, Wisma FGA:
Monday (02 July 07) - 02.00pm
(thereafter to Nilai Memorial Park)