I love you

I think it's great to be an actor because you get to say such great lines. The second half of this sonnet was quoted in Patch Adams.

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz
or arrow of carnations that propagate fire:
I love you as certain dark things are loved,
secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries
hidden within itself the light of those flowers,
and thanks to your love, darkly in my body
lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you simply, without problems or pride:
I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
but this, in which there is no I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

Pablo Neruda
Sonnet XVII (100 Love Sonnets, 1960)

Officially an Aunt -YEA!

Santa came early this year and delivered this bundle of joy (literally bundled up!)



Her name is Eliana! The name is of Hebrew origin which means "the Lord answers." She arrived safely into this world in Assunta Hospital at 4.55am on 13th Dec 2006. She weighs 3.2kg and measures 49.2cm. Aww so cute... like the fact that she's a nice lock of hair and also pretty pouty lips (probably from her father). I know all newborn babies tend to frown but she does seem to look rather serious in the first photo. I wonder if she's going to be a thinker ... serious and siao like her auntie! Har har har ... In my completely biased opinion I think she's going to one super-cool girl. Can't wait to meet her in person. So (drumroll) that makes me an aunt officially!

Keegan (my brother) already bought her a couple of branded pieces of clothing and can't wait to go home for his summer break (currently studying in Melbourne) to adorn her. LOL ... he's going home to adorn the Christmas gift of our family. Of course I've already sent a Roots (Canadian brand) baby tee (literally) her way, which has been waiting for her arrival, and will be my first Christmas present to her. My parents are quite excited that they are now officially Datuk and Nenek. Just as they've been such cool parents, I'm sure they'll be even cool-er grans! In fact my mum took these photos with the digital camera on her mobile phone (check out the size of the photos) and emailed them to the rest of the family spread all over the world, including my dad who was in China when Eliana arrived.

As you can tell, we're all quite inclined to spoiling her silly. Plan to make full use of this privilege of being an aunt, although her parents think they're more likely to send her to me if she needs to be disciplined. Hmmm ... Thank you Lord for this precious gift.

p/s: Being part of such a cool bunch in her family, you probably won't be surprised to know that she already has her own blog and gmail account! Muah har har har har (evil laugh)

Advent Calendar

Today is the 4th day of Advent. Advent marks the first day of the church calendar thus Dec 1st is considered the Christian New Year in some circles. Part of the fun of this season is counting down to Christmas and this too have been commercialised with confectioneries selling Advent calendars to help children in this counting down process. It's all part of build up in the anticipation of Christmas and they have a chocolate in each window. My housemate brought home an Advent calendar, but ours is a serious ("proper") Advent calendar. It does not have any chocolate in the windows and each day we open the relevant window to read the verse for the day. We also have a mini Advent wreath which we lighted the first candle last Sunday.

The church I attend here has a huge calendar which marks the 4 Sundays of Advent. It's a painting of a stable with different windows that peer into the stable. Painted by one of our church members - it's the size of stage backdrop. Very cool and the windows have a bag of chocolates in it too!!

Here are some pictures to give you an idea.
Click on image to view enlarged image. Take a look inside the windows of the LOTR calendar here. I must admit that the idea of a LOTR advent calendar is a little too commercialised for me.

Grace Will Lead Me Home

My church here has just launched our 2nd CD, entitled 'And Grace Will Lead Me Home'. It's a combined project with our church plant on UBC, called UTown church. Think I've mentioned before that this medium size church has a general emphasis on the arts and sufficient musicians to make up 5 top-class worship bands! Very creative bunch. Listen to tracks and see photos of the team at the cd site.

You can listen to my pastors, Jeff and Tom in the interviews under Audio Files in the Interviews section. Ps Tom hails from the UK and felt called to minister here in Vancouver. You can listen to his lovely British accent and he's also featured in the track 'I know I am home'. This is the link to Sopwith world aka Ps Tom's family's blog. You must read Joel's blog ... Joel is his adorable son who is just over a year old and Ps Tom blogs on his behalf! It's hilarious.

You can also visit UTown church's website which basically leads you to their blog. It's cool in a way. No bulletins and everyone is part of the e-community. I'm not sure if they have any handouts for newcomers on Sunday, but it works since most of their congregation are tech-savy. In Point Grey, we can opt to subscribe to receive our weekly bulletin via email. Do what we can to save some trees.

Caught in a snow storm

From an array of colours to white winter wonderland in a matter of weeks. It's very pretty and winter is officially here. It's perfectly timed for Advent and although we're still in November, can already feel Christmas in the air. It's been snowing for more than 24 hours straight and it doesn't look like it's stopping soon. Out here on campus we usually get more snow than downtown. The other university about 45 minutes away is located on a hill and have been covered with snow since last week. There's a weather warning to expect quite a bit of snowfall. Still this is very mild compare to the rest of Canada.

I've not mentioned this before but God's given me 3 fun loving young men as housemates this term. Having lived with 2 younger brothers, I feel totally at home being the only girl in this arrangement! Of course it helps that I also get the biggest room. It's been great getting to know them and we are able to sit together to have long theological discussions! The pictures taken with them in the link below is a moment of our community life together - all 4 of us watching Simpsons at midnight! It's that time of the term.

See more pics here.

God sneaks up in our culture through the arts

I attended a workshop-rehearsal with the Vancouver Bach Choir for their upcoming performance of Handel's Messiah. This would be a sing-along performance which would be interesting because the choir would be seated in the crowd instead of on the stage. I had a preview of the event and we were served coffee and snacks during the break. All this for free? I'd say it rarely gets better than that. I've watched the UBC Choir perform this piece last year, but the lecture that went along with the rehearsal opened to my eyes to understand what Handel was doing and appreciate it much better. More than one friend have told me they've have fallen asleep watching this performance on previous occasion, which I can understand it's hard going for some folks to be listening to this repertoire in a 3-hour sitting. But I think it's hard to sleep when you get to participate and sing along with the choir. It was a real treat to for me to be able to sing the Handel's Messiah and with such an awesome choir.

I found the exposition of the musical aspect very helpful, but the best part was theological discussion of how Handel was using music to express different emotions and his devotion. This was especially enlightening and it was a devotional experience for me although I was not sure if the conductor was a believer. I used to wonder if the singers realise or appreciate what they are singing, which is so loaded theologically. For the uninitiated, you can refer to the friendly Wikipedia site to find out more. It was amazing to see all these folks (choir has over 150 singers, excluding guests) sitting and listening the gospel being preached to them literally. From the birth of Christ, His passion and death for the sake of our sins, His glorification and the final judgment, it's all found in this piece. I felt like I was attending a lecture in Regent rather than a choir rehearsal. May these songs minister to the one who conducts, the musicians, singers as well as the audience who pay to listen to the gospel being sung! Does God have His way to bring His message to this very secular, almost anti-Christian culture? You bet!

Last week I attended a play entitled Life After God with my friends. This is based on a short story by Douglas Coupland (the guy who introduced the term Generation-X). It was a play about a few friends who graduated from the same high school and their 15th year reunion is coming up. The play deals with different issues through these characters depicting the struggles of 30-somethings, and for this play, they contextualised the story in Vancouver setting. The loneliness of the single, believing and fighting for a cause like Green Peace, having abundance of material things and looking like you've made it, getting through life with the aid of anti-depressants, the righteous religious who realised he's put his faith on the wrong thing ... basically spelling out what it means to be lost in a graphically honest manner. It was powerful and I could sense in the audience that many could identify with the characters, especially given its particular context. The play ends on a positive note where there was kind of re-birth/ baptism moment.

I found it so refreshing because unlike many presentations put up by the church, it feels as if we're compelled to 'resolve' the problem and provide the solution, informing the audience how they should conclude, what they should think and believe. Perhaps I'm somewhat influenced by post-modern thinking, but I think we need to trust our audience to have the capacity to reflect and that the Holy Spirit will lead them to truth about God. I think it's better to deal honestly with the issues at hand and address them seriously, rather than gloss over it in an almost pejorative manner. When we do the former, we tell the world that we are sinners too and can identify with the brokenness that is common in all humanity. When we do the latter and are eager to dish out 'solutions' (which is usually in terms of quick-fix and pat answers) it gives the impression that Christians don't really get the issue, think we're better than the rest, know it all or have all the solutions and can't wait to get people to change their mind and convert! It's arrogant and I'm not surprised if some, if not many, find it distasteful.

That's not to say that we leave out the gospel and all, but instead of simply 'preaching' it in terms of what people ought to believe, or more common, how they should behave (?!), we can share about how Christ has made a difference in our lives. We can testify about our own experience and lovingly extend an invitation for our friends to taste and see that He is as good as we claim. In fact I'd go as far to say that even if we don't conclude with a former proclamation of the gospel that's fine too. Just open up the conversation and do it so that instead of reacting to our message, if people would give thought to the issues raised and be willing to consider it deeper, then I think we've 'achieved' our goal. They can always approach friends and Christians to explore more about the Christian faith and the difference Christ makes in our lives, when they're ready and desire to find out more. There is a difference when we share our faith as individuals and perhaps perceived to be less dogmatic than if someone told them from the stage what they should believe. I believe this is because the individual who share his or her faith is doing it in the context of an established relationship and matters of faith is a personal one. If the church finds it too risky to leave things open ended, God still has a way to use 'secular' production to do the job... and He sneaks up on us that way.

Family of God

I want to thank all who've shared with me in my recent misfortune ... the many who've prayed, expressed sympathy, referred me to reliable computer dealers, offered to loan my a laptop, 'loan' softwares, use of scanner to scan from the hard copies of my work ... and on and on. I'm grateful for the love and concern expressed. The community here and in Regent is not large but it's big enough to feel distanced. Not being a community group in College or small group in church here, I do feel a wee bit disconnected at times. Yet God's got a way of reaching me through His children... both far and near. I'm a typical Chinese in the sense that I don't like to trouble people with such matters, especially when there's nothing anybody can really do about it. When this incident took place recently I hesitated to share and was a bit lost as to whom to share it with and not having access to email and IM, didn't make it easier. Yet I told some I met in the course of the week and others whom I could think of to consult. So I was pretty touched by all those who offered consolation and to help in ways big and small.

Being away from home and my pool of 'natural' resources, I learn to ask for help. With regards to things like purchasing a laptop, I have never been very confident and would usually ask around, and even ask a friend to come along with me. This goes against my independent spirit but it's good for my soul and wisdom demands it. I'm grateful for my friend who helped me source for this laptop. I met him on Monday, following the incident, where he made a call and found out about this unit. It was good deal and I thanked him for the lead, telling him I'd think about it as I was not decided on whether to get a laptop or desktop. Without me knowing, he had actually gone down to the shop and taken a look at the unit that evening itself. This place is on the east side, more than 1/2 hour away on the bus. My friend lives even further out and it takes him over an hour on the bus to get home ... but he bothered to stop on the way and went to take a look at the unit. I am touched by his friendship. He's a fellow Malaysian and being out here, we try to look out for one another ... there's a kind of bond and I experience the family of God in a very real and tangible way.

All these added to my pool of resources which made it easier for me to forgive whoever who broke into my home. I believe the community of faith is a powerful force when it expresses itself in love. It gave me a tiny glimpse of what happened at the recent shootout in the school in the Armish community and helped me understand how the families of those victims could chose to forgive in response to the horrific events. I see the love and support they received from their tight-knitted community had given them strength to respond in love and forgiveness, instead of bitterness and vengeance. That's not to discount the fact that they had to make a conscious choice to do so and God's grace enabled them to so choose and live by that choice.

This to me is a picture of the people of God, a community of love and faith. We don't respond in a totally 'rational' way as the world expects us because we live out of faith in God as our foundation. The community gathers strength when we realise the enemy is not one of us, despite all our internal tussles or when one of our own fall into sin. The enemy is not even those who are outside of the community and do not share our views. But he is the one acts against God and use people as his instruments. He leads them to misrepresent God and focus on fighting flesh and blood, to divert attention from himself and his schemes. This is the enemy that we should unite and fight against.