Prayer of Lament

The Psalms are full of laments but yet when was the last time you found yourself expressing lament during a worship service and even have an entire service based on it. It was a moving experience as we offered up our lament, individually and corporately. This was the series of prayers written by one of the students who led us in prayer. I found it very powerful and moving. Totally in tune with this season of Lent.


Opening Prayer

Maybe we did something wrong
We used to feel you
Impression on our skin,
strong arm wrapped around.

But now it seems
We are alone
With no one to help

Gathered now to listen and speak
We wonder
Will it even matter?

We come here torn up,
Vicious dogs
Depression
envy
Angry thoughts
Ravenous, they eat

We come wounded
we come
Undone
Soul undone
Bones out from their socket
Bodies turning on themselves
Life, crumpled in the corner

We come to you empty
Melted hearts, poured out
Spilling to the ground
Till there is nothing
No one to hold them
But death’s dust
Enemy stares and gloats.

Like this we come,
To a God we cannot see
To scream for help
Fists beating against your chest
Pawing at your sky

Like this we come
Tangled up in deadlines
Too distracted to notice
Drinking from the cup
of success
We do not even care

Like this we come
False ambition
Clothed in contradiction
Yet naked underneath
Bodies pieced apart
Separated from ourselves
We groan

We come numb
Swollen tongue
stuck to the roof of our mouth
fluid of life drains out
As we turn to see there’s no one there

God,
It’s like this that we come
And ask for your help
Spirit come to
Gather up our pains in your heart
Swaddle flailing lives
Swaddle flailing regent
So she can sleep again
At your breast
To know
you are good.


Corporate confession

God
sees underneath
Intentions below the surface
Tears waiting
behind smiles
Doubt accompanying faith

And if you are here,
God,
not far off,
But closer than our own skin,
Surely you have seen
Surely you have seen

When we push our bodies beyond themselves
Satisfying our schedules, rather than stewarding your temple.

In your mercy, forgive us.

When we demand blessing in light of our obedience
Presuming we can earn your favor
When we cheapen your death—as we long for a rule-driven gospel
When we crucify ourselves with self-hate
And pray to a Saviour who we think couldn’t bear to love us,

In your love, forgive us.

When we think we’re more loved or saved than others

Forgive us, and teach us true humility

When we hide from you, behind our knowledge of you
When we think that being united in our love for you, means uniformity in the way we express it,
Forgive us and teach us to learn from each other

When we’re tight-fisted with your money, with our lives

Unclench our fists and make us open-handed. Ready to give, open to receive.

When we keep sorrow in its corner, unsure of a love that could allow so much pain.
Because of your gentleness,
Love us in spite of ourselves.

When we despair of pressing forward
Fearing the fount of miracles has run dry

Hold us.

Hoping against all hope
We pray for the people of the Downtown Eastside

Because of your justice, help us bring peace

For we who struggle to follow,
Constrained by affections for comfort and control

Because of your Kingdom, loose our bonds

And for those of us to whom life has dealt a seemingly final blow
Face to the concrete, too exhausted to move

Because of your tenderness, take us by the hand and raise us up.

Spirit of the Living God,
We invite you
Blaze across our sky
Wring death out of our hearts
And saturate our souls with your breathe, life, faith.

Hoping against all hope
We lay defeat aside
We grab for the corner of your cloak
And wait for a miracle.


Benediction
You, heart peering out from behind yesterday,
Wondering
If you can brave tomorrow;

You, mind racing,
wrapping your story
in should’ves, could’ves, if I’d only

You, created for intimacy,
But too tired to step into it,
soul pacing inside you,
hesitant to show itself;

You,
body worn,
knees in the dirt,
face there, too;

O children of the resurrection
May your soul fling open its windows
To see in the distance
The arm of the lord
Indeed
He has done it
It is finished

Impression on your skin
Spirit piercing your flesh,
driving into your heart
an invitation to dance,
to smile, to hope,
pressing light into your dark,
unclenching your heart
blood of redemption and grace pulsing through dry veins
flooding love into your fears.
He has done it.

So, may wait with one another
truly
He will not hide his face
From you forever
Behold it is very close

Amen. Amen. Amen.

Faith in the Faithful

Some time back I felt the Lord convicting me for my failure to trust him. One of the reasons why I chose to come out here was because I wanted to learn how to trust God. Tired of trusting my own and earthly resources, I desired to see Him meet my needs. I sincerely wanted to be able to say with conviction that He is Jehovah Jireh, the Lord my Provider. I lament that I was tired of listening, reading and repeating other people's story of faith and I wanted to have my own, up-to-date testimonies. Then I felt convicted that my action was nothing short of testing Him and had to repent before the Lord. I felt ashamed for my failure to acknowledge His provision through 'natural' means, as if they were not good enough. It was a hard lesson and I had to re-evaluate my theology.

Nevertheless, I must say, God is so very merciful and even condescends to our childish ways. I guess it pleases Him when my desire is to boast of him and there's nothing harder for him to resist than to have his children boast about him! This week has been a real treat as the Lord reminds me he knows my needs and desires to meet them. I've been running low on cheese and was a little reluctant to replenish my stock until I see them on sale at the supermarket. It's no big deal except that I don't think it's worth buying when it is not on sale. Then God send angels who gave me some supply of good quality mozarella cheese!

I'm having a reading break this week and have not been eating dinner with my regular kaki-s (who by the way are leaving to return to Singapore after this term). I was thinking what I'd cook for dinner on my way home, after a whole day at work. Only to find that an angel had come by and left me some Indonesian style mee goreng waiting for me at home. It's a simple delight and blessing. For me, it's great when someone takes you out and buys you a meal, but something else altogether when someone takes the trouble to cook you a meal. I guess the thought counts alot and the effort, of course. Especially when they take into consideration that you might prefer Asian cuisine that is not too spicy and listing the ingredients to check you're not allergic to any of them! For me this is such an expression of love and worth much more than an expensive dining experience, as much as I like those as well.

Does he need to do this to prove he is God and that he is faithful? No. Did he want to peer through my day to surprise me and let me know He thought of me and know my whispered desires? Yes. Does he know I have put in my application to renew my scholarship for next academic year and that am thinking if I should shift out of my current residence in view of the increase of rates next year? Probably. Can he take care of that? Sure he can and this is just a simple assurance that he is in control.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent. More than anything, I am led to ponder on His indescribable and infinite love, seen through His passion and death. I invite you to join me to linger at the foot of the cross.

Lord of War

Watched this movie at the campus cinema last night. It was a fund-raising event for West Sudan. Amnesty International was present to campaign for arms control. I was really surprised to see the turn out as students lined up for more than 100m to get their ticket. The cinema at the Student Union Building (SUB) is one of the most dingy and usually there's hardly a queue to get tickets, even on weekends. These Uni students really made their way in support of this cause. It was very encouraging, considering that this generation is usually associated with apathy. The organisers were very affirming and kept reminding the group that each person counts and can make a difference. They also organised an after movie drink at the pub to discuss the movie. These kids pay for both the movie (which is really sponsored so that all proceeds go to Amnesty International) and the drink session.

You probably think, what am I coming to? First environmental issue, now arms control. Well, I suppose this is part of my learning experience; learn to be concerned with issues around me, beyond my little world and tiny circle of concerns. I don't know how many Christians were there last night but I believe not too many. Yet I won't be surprised if not too few there were. I met some folks here who are very politically aware and even in some churches, you can't escape these issues. Of course there are also Christians who only think in very limited scope and have no idea what's happening outside the church walls. But I dare say we can do with more churches and Christians actively engaging in such issues.

It's a fantastic movie, with a powerful story and fast paced. Based on facts, it bears a profound message... that the real weapons of mass destruction is not nuclear armoury but small handheld arms trafficked illegally, both by arm dealers and even world governments! It is scarily true. The opening scene is very memorable and reminds me one of those essays (karangan) I had to write when I was in primary school - "If I were a ..... (an inimate object)". The soundtracks are great and haunting, and can be heard on the movie's site. Violent? You bet. Nicholas Cage plays a villain - first time as far as I recall. Here you watch what how one moves from denial to justification when dealing with sin. We do this so often that we rarely stop to think about it. In the end, sin has its price. Ethan Hawke plays the role of the interpol agent who seeks to use the law to bring about justice and refuse to compromise his own sense of uprightness to achieve this.

Link to the Lord of War movie site.
Find out how you can make a difference - Amnesty International.

A Rocha

The speakers will:
Consider the biblical and theological connection between the suffering of the earth and the suffering of earthkeepers.
Describe and reflect on real world case studies that demonstrate the relationship between abused ecosystems and abused people.

I volunteered an amazing conference this weekend. The speakers presented papers on the theology for earth keeping and conservation. There were almost 200 people in the conference, Christians who are serious about their faith and interested to learn the biblical mandate on the issue of earth-keeping. If we believe the earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, then what are our responsiblities as inhabitants and stewards of the natural resources God's entrusted us with on this earth? This is not just a talk to promote recycling and awareness of environmental issues. But fundamentally the speakers seek to help us recognise that our failures in this area is much deeper and our practices directly reflects our inherent beliefs and values. Far greater than ecological issues, we also talked about issues of poverty and social justice. I found it very informative and challenging. Hearing from theologians who firmly believes this is our calling, as well as Christians who are involved in social justice, conservation and environmental ministry, including a Christian lady from Kenya who is an government civil officer with the Global Strategy for Plant Conservation. It's an amazing panel. I can't remember ever hearing of other Christian conferences that is focused on this issue.

One thing that I learned from the Kenyan lady was to think in a wholistic and integrative manner in our conservation efforts. It's not enough to tell the Africans they need to conserve their plants and species that are going extinct when what's foremost in their mind is survival. An example of integrative effort includes teaching them to cultivate and preserve the forest and transform it as an attraction for eco-tourism, which will then become income bearing for them. So they begin to see these natural resources as assets and invest in them. Another important consideration is sustainability. Conservation efforts should be sustainable long term and if possible, income bearing, so that it need not be dependent on charity. It's important to involve the locals and try to look at the interconnected issues when we talk about conservation.

This is not and should not be an exclusive Christian effort, although the sad fact is Christians have not been very active in this field. This is a field which is slowly dying off because they are giving up, exhausted with the lack of results after trying almost everything. It is a field which very much needs to hear the good news that God is concerned with his creation. A Rocha is a Christian ministry which seeks to be a witness as they work alongside these different existing efforts and seek to find new, creative ways to conserve the earth. You can download a short video on the A Rocha ministry, which is produced by a Malaysian-Singaporean couple. I had the privilege of meeting them at the conference. They are professional media people who have decided to give a year and offer their talents to this ministry. Thus neither is this strictly a North-American concern, but the most critical areas are outside of the North America, where balance in the ecosystems are very fragile and the bio-diversity is threatened. These speakers invite us to imagine what God can do if the church, the biggest NGO on earth, catches this vision and begins to take responsibility and take our roles as stewards of the earth seriously. Indeed if we mean what we pray, for His kingdom to come on earth as it is in heaven.

It's pretty cool to see many of them bringing their own coffee mugs to the conference. No disposable cutleries are used throughout the conference. As much as possible conference materials, including name tags and folders, are reused and recycled accordingly.

It never fails to amaze me the diversity of people I meet here in Regent. Among fellow students I've met here, range from those who've worked as forest rangers, bonsai agriculturist and conservationists, others who are involved in such fields like artificial intelligence development, fossil research, social work, acting and media, artists, medical and health care, including fertility programs, are just some samples. There's also those who worked in the 'usual fields' like accounting and finance, administrative, architecture, business, computing and communication, education, engineering, law, and last but not least, missions, parachurch and church work.

Falling in Love?

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.
No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.
And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.

Someone sent me the above quote. Falling in love is by chance?
And falling out of love is by Choice because you chose not to work at staying in love.

New Discoveries

My friend just commented that I've all sorts of stuff on this blog. I couldn't help to point out that it simply reflects my wide array of loves and passions! Will reveal even more of them in this entry.

Yesterday I learned to adjust the size of the pictures I post on this blog! Many times I'll search the web to learn html formatting commands. I must admit I'm also quite a freak about learning new tricks on how to do things better like formatting my Excel worksheet or move around a program with shortcut function keys. I guess I just have this thing for formatting and making the computer/ programme do exactly what I want it to do, the way I want it. I was really excited when I found out that you could use "Alt-Enter" to enter a new line of text in the same cell in Excel! Sigh, why didn't someone tell me about this earlier?! Obviously I'm not the only one who's crazy about stuff like that. I found an entire site set up to offer these great tips. Check it out: Excel Tips. By the way, does anyone know how I can reduce the margin within a cell, to have less white space between text and the cell border?

I'm also comforted to know that there are people who are crazy enough to have debates on the appropriate use of punctuations. Friends have observed that I'm the kind who cross my t's and dot my i's, and do so passionately. Some people make a living with these sort of passion. Met a few of them here. Others simply write an entire bestseller about it. Take a closer look at the book,'Eats Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation!'

I suppose this probably explains why I can be excited with my current job, which is very meticulous and detailed. Requires me to be very thorough.

Cartoon Tensions

I've been following the development in this matter for some time. Makes my heart weep. Please uphold this situation in prayer.

ROME (Reuters) - The row over controversial Danish cartoons of the Prophet Mohammad forced two ministers out of their jobs in Europe and the Middle East on Saturday after clashes between police and protesters claimed 11 lives in Libya.

The protest in Benghazi was the bloodiest so far over caricatures of the Prophet that Muslims regard as blasphemous.

Initially resisting calls for his resignation, Italian Reforms Minister Roberto Calderoli stepped down after he was widely blamed for bloody clashes in Libya over cartoons of the Prophet which he had made into T-shirts and wore on television. (Can you believe this? The tension has been building up quite a bit around this issue the past few weeks. I find it hard to imagine how insensitive, foolish and totally provocative some people can be!)

In Tripoli, the General People's Congress fired Interior Minister Nasser al-Mabrouk Abdallah and police chiefs in Benghazi saying "disproportionate force" had been used to disperse protesters who tried to storm the Italian consulate.

The Congress hailed the dead as "martyrs" and declared Sunday a day of mourning across Libya.

Italian diplomats in Tripoli said Libyan authorities had told them at least 11 were dead and nearly 40 wounded.

After Calderoli resigned, Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi spoke with Libyan leader Muammar Gaddafi by phone. "(They) fully agreed that this serious episode must not affect in a negative way the friendly relations between Italy and Libya," Berlusconi's office said in a statement.

As thousands of Muslims rallied in central London to keep up the cycle of cartoon protests around the world, there was fresh bloodshed in Pakistan when four people were wounded in gunfire at a demonstration in the central Punjab region.

Protests in Pakistan this week have resulted in at least five deaths, and on Friday it became the latest country where Denmark has decided to temporarily close its embassy. Denmark urged any Danes in Pakistan to leave as soon as possible.

In a bid to harness the escalating violence, Pakistan on Saturday banned protests in Islamabad. As the ban was introduced the country's main Islamist alliance, Muttahida Majlis-e-Amal (MMA), said it would go ahead with its Sunday demonstration,

"The rally will be held in Islamabad. It will be a peaceful rally," Shahid Shamsi, an MMA spokesman said.



Read more about this: CNN, BBC and Reuters. The cartoons.