The past two days have been a bit rough and stressful. Besides helping my friend with her father's funeral, my little brother had to visit 2 different doctors during this time. He has a very bad sore throat and my mum's been quite concerned about his health. Things have been a bit tensed at home. To top it off, I met with a nasty car accident yesterday. The worst I've had so far and the car is in pretty bad shape. Will have to claim my insurance. Sigh. Guess I am grateful that both parties did not suffer any serious injury (I hope). Taking some muscle relaxants for my neck and backaches. Expect them to disappear in a couple of days. Hope it's not anything as bad as a whiplash.
Have lots on my mind and many things to look into with my imminent move to Canada. Yet to hear from the Canadian High Commission with regards to my student permit application. I have applied to begin my studies with summer school in Regent. The college has informed me that I have been accepted to begin my studies in June. However having said that, the letter is simply not forthcoming despite both the College's attempts to post it. So far I've only received the official letter of acceptance for the September intake, which I have submitted in support of my student permit application. Just have to wait and see. If I am only granted a student permit to start later, it will mean deferring my departure. I guess since I've asked Him to be in control, this would include His timing in this matter.
For now, I'm just keeping my fingers crossed that Liverpool will beat Chelsea at the Champion's League semi-finals tomorrow morning - with more than one goal margin!!
Ed: I think this is one of my more personal posts...
Wednesday, April 27, 2005
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
Tribute to a Friend
Last weekend I had the privilege of being with a close friend of mine through her father's last moments. It was tough watching someone close to you lose a loved one. She was very attached to her father and I know she will miss him dearly. As the only child, I knew that she meant everything to her dad and he would have given his life for her if it was required of him. Words cannot express the lost my friend is feeling now.
As I sat and listened to different stories recounted by family members of how uncle took care of his nieces and nephews like his own children, I was amazed. He assumed the role as their father figure when their father died (he had 7 siblings) and looked after everyone of them, to the point that my friend refers to some of her cousins, as 'sister' and 'brother'. A teacher and government servant for many years, uncle may not have been rich materially but he gave fully of himself and I believe he was truly rich.
I am so thankful that in the last few years of his life he came to know the Lord. He loved the Lord tremendously and was always eager to come for Sunday worship service even when he was feeling very ill. At times he got up as early as 4am to get ready because of his limited mobility. He always coveted prayers and spiritual blessings. This is indeed an amazing change coming from a hardened self-made man that he was for so many years. He never wanted anything to do with the Christian faith and used to stop his family from attending church! This is a miracle only God can wrought in a man's heart. I praise God for His grace and mercy in each of our lives. I know it is grace that helped uncle finished his race and finished it well, full of faith. As I look ahead, I don't know how many days I have left and how much of the race I have the opportunity to run. I pray for His grace to keep me and help me finish well.
As I sat and listened to different stories recounted by family members of how uncle took care of his nieces and nephews like his own children, I was amazed. He assumed the role as their father figure when their father died (he had 7 siblings) and looked after everyone of them, to the point that my friend refers to some of her cousins, as 'sister' and 'brother'. A teacher and government servant for many years, uncle may not have been rich materially but he gave fully of himself and I believe he was truly rich.
I am so thankful that in the last few years of his life he came to know the Lord. He loved the Lord tremendously and was always eager to come for Sunday worship service even when he was feeling very ill. At times he got up as early as 4am to get ready because of his limited mobility. He always coveted prayers and spiritual blessings. This is indeed an amazing change coming from a hardened self-made man that he was for so many years. He never wanted anything to do with the Christian faith and used to stop his family from attending church! This is a miracle only God can wrought in a man's heart. I praise God for His grace and mercy in each of our lives. I know it is grace that helped uncle finished his race and finished it well, full of faith. As I look ahead, I don't know how many days I have left and how much of the race I have the opportunity to run. I pray for His grace to keep me and help me finish well.
Tuesday, April 12, 2005
The Christian Mind
Some excerpts from The Christian Mind to ponder on... the loneliness of a Christian thinker. ;-p
It is not lonely to disagree with other people. It is not lonely to meet in the same field of discourse with men and women who reach conclusions that contradict your own. But it is desperately lonely to occupy field of discourse which no one else will enter, even if you are surrounded by people who have reached exactly the same conclusions as you yourself.
Idealists are the most tortured people in our midst. … But idealists – those people who insists on logically relating principle to practice, end to means, purpose to process, goal to route – we have no time for them. Literally no time. There is too much to do. Their misgivings would slow us up, prevent us even from making a start. Besides they would set us all at each other’s throats in fierce controversy if once they were allowed a sober hearing. The best thing is to shut them up.
In our culture generally, we are rich in scholar but poor in thinkers. The nature of our modern educational system is such that this happy combination arises ever more rarely (combination of first-rate scholar and first-rate thinker). ... Potential thinkers are being turned into mere scholars by the pressures of conformity so strong both in the educational world and in society at large. The thinker challenges current prejudices. He disturbs the complacent. He obstructs the busy pragmatists. He questions the very foundations of all about him, and in so doing throws doubt upon aims, motives, and purposes which those who are running affairs have neither time nor patience to investigate. The thinker is a nuisance. He is a luxury that modern society cannot afford. It will strive to keep him quite, to restrict his influence, to ignore him. It will try to pretend that he does not exist.
Monday, April 11, 2005
Reevaluate
I've been reading a book entitled The Christian Mind by Harry Balmires. Given me more thoughts on the Christian view of suffering and pain.
But, in a sense, death is relevant to every human issue, every earthly activity, since it raises the question of the significance and status of all that transpire terrestrially. And if death is universally relevant, then it follows that the Christian’s eternal perspective is universally relevant too.
Disease and suffering, in so far as they reduce man’s total experience existence here to something not worth having in itself, cannot be reconciled with the demand of the human mind for justice and meaning in things, unless there is that beyond this life and outside this world which both compensates for suffering and transforms its total significance.
Eternal well-being is the final aim and end of things here - for Christians anyway.
I've been really challenged by his writing to think Christianly about issues and to be aware of how subtly I have been won over by secular thinking in considering daily issues of life. A lot of my wondering about death and suffering must be reviewed in light of eternity. No, that will not not change anything as in there will still be injustice and tremendous suffering that cannot be explained. It is simply to put things in perspective. Thus my focus is not to discover the reason for every painful experience because its significance is not in the experience itself. I realise that I have been trying to find the meaning of life by observing life itself, which is a secular way of thinking, allowing the material and physical world to define my existence. The truth is Life, my life, can only derive meaning, value and significance from the One who is beyond this life and outside this world.
The above realisation alone has made my recent efforts to work through some of these issues as seen in the many blog entries on this depressing topic of suffering and pain, totally worth it!
But, in a sense, death is relevant to every human issue, every earthly activity, since it raises the question of the significance and status of all that transpire terrestrially. And if death is universally relevant, then it follows that the Christian’s eternal perspective is universally relevant too.
Disease and suffering, in so far as they reduce man’s total experience existence here to something not worth having in itself, cannot be reconciled with the demand of the human mind for justice and meaning in things, unless there is that beyond this life and outside this world which both compensates for suffering and transforms its total significance.
Eternal well-being is the final aim and end of things here - for Christians anyway.
I've been really challenged by his writing to think Christianly about issues and to be aware of how subtly I have been won over by secular thinking in considering daily issues of life. A lot of my wondering about death and suffering must be reviewed in light of eternity. No, that will not not change anything as in there will still be injustice and tremendous suffering that cannot be explained. It is simply to put things in perspective. Thus my focus is not to discover the reason for every painful experience because its significance is not in the experience itself. I realise that I have been trying to find the meaning of life by observing life itself, which is a secular way of thinking, allowing the material and physical world to define my existence. The truth is Life, my life, can only derive meaning, value and significance from the One who is beyond this life and outside this world.
The above realisation alone has made my recent efforts to work through some of these issues as seen in the many blog entries on this depressing topic of suffering and pain, totally worth it!
Tuesday, March 29, 2005
Carried Our Sorrows
In the light of Easter and the recent earthquake, I thought it would be a good time to take a look at suffering and how God works out His plans through it. Been thinking about how God has allowed His children and servants go through some of the most horrible experiences. I know of men who've served God faithfully for over 20 or 30 years, who have gone through anything from battling with spouse hit with cancer, lost of a spouse, child murdered, wife raped by the very people you're reaching out to, broken marriage, etc. I understand that if we choose to serve God, it can sometimes be a costly affair but I do struggle when I think of my loved ones having to pay the price for my obedience to God. It is one thing for me to accept that those who serve God may have to give up dreams of having great riches (on this side of heaven anyway) but another thing altogether to know that some who’ve agreed to serve and follow God seem to have more than their fair share of suffering.
Since these are works of the enemy, then, if I may be so bold to ask, does that mean God is unable to protect His children from the devil’s schemes? Does He take delight in seeing us suffer? Why else would He stand watching His children suffer blows upon blows without intervening? How many blows can one man take before the wind is knocked out of him? Some have suggested that perhaps God is using these sufferings to show off His ability to sustain His servants. But what glory does He get if they should give up, end up broken beyond recognition?? I guess I just can’t help but to wonder if all these breaking experiences are really necessary. Honestly, the book of Job is a hard one for me and not all that helpful for my cynical friends. For them it only serves to confirm that God is somewhat of a sadist, allowing Job to go through all those blows because of a wager with Satan? God didn’t give Job any explanation for all his sufferings. Perhaps I have to take the cue from there.
I am conscious that I live in a time where we tend to shun and despise pain, according it no value and avoid it at all cost. It is not in our human nature to choose a more painful option if a choice is presented. Many prefer to take short cuts and cut corners to get what we want in the shortest and least ‘painful’ way. People are willing to pay a lot of money to protect and insure themselves against pain, or at least, to minimize the effect of pain. Many of us have bought into the idea that pain is unnecessary and undesirable. And so we come into faith, expecting that Jesus to deliver us from all pain – like purchasing an insurance plan.
In his book ‘Gift of Pain’, Philip Yancey helps us understand that physical pain is in fact a gift from God. It serves to prevent us from endangering ourselves and causing further harm to ourselves. Imagine putting your hands on a hot stove but not having any sensation of pain? That simply spells trouble right? I came across a recent article by Selwyn Hughes reflecting on his spiritual journey. Among others, he has suffered the lost of his wife to cancer, lost of both his sons to diseases, and he himself was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years ago. I’d say he’s had more than his fair share of suffering for any person. His many years of service in the body of Christ coupled with this extensive list of painful experiences, I think, somewhat qualifies him to comment on how we can make sense of pain. He asserts that suffering is an essential part of developing Christian character. This is what he attests to in reflecting on his experience. He goes on to say that the absence of meaning can be viewed as surrender to God’s greater meaning and purpose which we may not know or understand.
Do I know why God allows all these suffering? NO. Do I know and believe God is good, all the time? YES. Do I think God will allow us to suffer unnecessarily? No. Is there evil and wickedness in this world? Yes. Does God sometimes allow us to suffer the consequences of our sinful action? Yes, sometimes, to a certain degree. Is God in control? YES! Do I always understand why God allow innocent people to suffer? No… Do I ask for suffering? Well, only what is necessary for Christ to be formed in me. Sparingly, I hope. ;p
If Jesus needed to endure suffering how can we expect to be spared? A disciple can’t be greater than his master. This Easter I am reminded that His suffering was an equally important and vital part of His sacrifice as His death. If it was just our sins that Jesus came to deal with, then it would probably suffice that He should die. Having no sins of His own, He would have taken the penalty of our sin by His death. But no, God thought it right that Christ should not only die, but also to suffer for our sake. For my sake.
Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed. (Is 53: 4-5)
Since these are works of the enemy, then, if I may be so bold to ask, does that mean God is unable to protect His children from the devil’s schemes? Does He take delight in seeing us suffer? Why else would He stand watching His children suffer blows upon blows without intervening? How many blows can one man take before the wind is knocked out of him? Some have suggested that perhaps God is using these sufferings to show off His ability to sustain His servants. But what glory does He get if they should give up, end up broken beyond recognition?? I guess I just can’t help but to wonder if all these breaking experiences are really necessary. Honestly, the book of Job is a hard one for me and not all that helpful for my cynical friends. For them it only serves to confirm that God is somewhat of a sadist, allowing Job to go through all those blows because of a wager with Satan? God didn’t give Job any explanation for all his sufferings. Perhaps I have to take the cue from there.
I am conscious that I live in a time where we tend to shun and despise pain, according it no value and avoid it at all cost. It is not in our human nature to choose a more painful option if a choice is presented. Many prefer to take short cuts and cut corners to get what we want in the shortest and least ‘painful’ way. People are willing to pay a lot of money to protect and insure themselves against pain, or at least, to minimize the effect of pain. Many of us have bought into the idea that pain is unnecessary and undesirable. And so we come into faith, expecting that Jesus to deliver us from all pain – like purchasing an insurance plan.
In his book ‘Gift of Pain’, Philip Yancey helps us understand that physical pain is in fact a gift from God. It serves to prevent us from endangering ourselves and causing further harm to ourselves. Imagine putting your hands on a hot stove but not having any sensation of pain? That simply spells trouble right? I came across a recent article by Selwyn Hughes reflecting on his spiritual journey. Among others, he has suffered the lost of his wife to cancer, lost of both his sons to diseases, and he himself was diagnosed with prostate cancer a few years ago. I’d say he’s had more than his fair share of suffering for any person. His many years of service in the body of Christ coupled with this extensive list of painful experiences, I think, somewhat qualifies him to comment on how we can make sense of pain. He asserts that suffering is an essential part of developing Christian character. This is what he attests to in reflecting on his experience. He goes on to say that the absence of meaning can be viewed as surrender to God’s greater meaning and purpose which we may not know or understand.
Do I know why God allows all these suffering? NO. Do I know and believe God is good, all the time? YES. Do I think God will allow us to suffer unnecessarily? No. Is there evil and wickedness in this world? Yes. Does God sometimes allow us to suffer the consequences of our sinful action? Yes, sometimes, to a certain degree. Is God in control? YES! Do I always understand why God allow innocent people to suffer? No… Do I ask for suffering? Well, only what is necessary for Christ to be formed in me. Sparingly, I hope. ;p
If Jesus needed to endure suffering how can we expect to be spared? A disciple can’t be greater than his master. This Easter I am reminded that His suffering was an equally important and vital part of His sacrifice as His death. If it was just our sins that Jesus came to deal with, then it would probably suffice that He should die. Having no sins of His own, He would have taken the penalty of our sin by His death. But no, God thought it right that Christ should not only die, but also to suffer for our sake. For my sake.
Surely he took up our infirmities
and carried our sorrows,
yet we considered him stricken by God,
smitten by him, and afflicted.
But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed. (Is 53: 4-5)
Tuesday, March 22, 2005
Not Dying to Knot
I've always had questions about the institution of marriage. Am not convinced it is a good deal for women generally. I know a lot of men are afraid of the big 'C' word and have doubts about tying the knot. I think the trend is for increasing number of women to have similar doubts and reluctance. Perhaps many modern women feel that the traditional reasons for getting married no longer apply today. Today more women are financially independent (I think this is a major factor), independent physically having learned how to drive and move around, there is less stigma attached to those who remain single, able to have both close male and female friends who can provide emotional support. Often she is self-affirmed and have many dreams of her own. Marriage is no longer an attractive option and seem to have lost its intrinsic value in our society. Many couples enter into marriage asking what they can personally get out of it. That is really the wrong question because the answer to that is probably nothing because marriage is not the place for us to seek to serve self but often is a place where self is put to death. It is sad that more often than not couples are more than willing to talk about their marriage woes, the horrible jokes about marriage, coupled with the high rate of breakdown in marriages - all these do not help the 'image' of marriage. Call me a cynic; perhaps a cynic open to be converted!
I did a little survey by interviewing a number of people to share what they thought is good about marriage and whether they think it is a good thing for everyone. I figured it'll be good to find out since we expand a considerable sum of money attending weddings and even more is spent by the couples and families to celebrate the said union! Whilst almost all agreed that marriage is a good thing which they will recommend for all, I was a little disappointed that not many could clearly articulate what they felt were some definite benefits of marriage. Mind you, some of them have been married for more than 10-15 years. A handful however did give very good answers... feel free to drop me a line if you'll like to know more :p
At this juncture, I'd like to share with you to an excellent article entitled
I did a little survey by interviewing a number of people to share what they thought is good about marriage and whether they think it is a good thing for everyone. I figured it'll be good to find out since we expand a considerable sum of money attending weddings and even more is spent by the couples and families to celebrate the said union! Whilst almost all agreed that marriage is a good thing which they will recommend for all, I was a little disappointed that not many could clearly articulate what they felt were some definite benefits of marriage. Mind you, some of them have been married for more than 10-15 years. A handful however did give very good answers... feel free to drop me a line if you'll like to know more :p
At this juncture, I'd like to share with you to an excellent article entitled
Monday, March 14, 2005
Dreams
Dreams are what you make them to be. Daring to dream is something I believe all of us must strive to do. It's hard to live our dreams. What is important is that we should aim to live God's dreams. They are not necessarily different but neither are they always one and the same thing. I just watched
I can't say that this dream of mine is definitely the best thing that can happen to me because like all dreams, there's a risk. Yes, if it works out fine, I will be a better person, but if it doesn't, who knows? I maybe more cynical, hardened, disillusioned than I am now (I am not saying I'm all these at the moment!) The truth is we never know, right? Can we always be sure if our venture is always going to be a success?! A success in whose eyes anyways? If measured against the world's standards of success, then it will be based on results and productivity. However if measured by God's standards, wouldn't it one of obedience and faithfulness? Results, I believe, is something that God gives in reward of our faithfulness but my primary responsiblity is to be faithful. The farmer sows and faithfully tends his field, but growth and fruit-bearing is God's part. The farmer doesn't determine if it will be 30-fold, 60-fold or 100-fold harvest. That's God's perogative.
My confidence is in God to carry me through, to bring forth His plans for my life and help me walk in His will. I believe, it is equally possible that God leads me through my desires and plans. Unless He absolutely closes the door, I can assume that I am walking in His will. I know God guides me through prayerful consideration and by my keeping an open mind towards godly counsel. I am certain that God's grace is sufficient and can redeem even my worst errors as I entrust my life into His hands. Risk taken in God is really no risk at all.
I sense His voice like a father telling his child, 'Jump, don't worry. I'm here and I'll catch you'. I love Him and I know He loves me too. Like a father who believes in his child, He is inviting me to dream. To believe in Him and to surrender my dreams to Him. Therefore I am inviting Him to be part of my dreams. Yes, I have a dream but I don't want to dream apart from Him. I am also open for Him to plant His dreams within me. Sometimes I feel my dreams are too small ... and that He's got plans that are much bigger than I ever had for myself. More than anything I desire to do His will. Lord, help me discern Your will for my life. You are my Good Shepherd who will surely lead me in the path of righteousness for Your Name sake. So is there only one path? Maybe. I know I will keep on the path of righteousness for as long as I am walking with Him. My concern and focus is not on which path I should take but on Whom I am walking with.
I can't say that this dream of mine is definitely the best thing that can happen to me because like all dreams, there's a risk. Yes, if it works out fine, I will be a better person, but if it doesn't, who knows? I maybe more cynical, hardened, disillusioned than I am now (I am not saying I'm all these at the moment!) The truth is we never know, right? Can we always be sure if our venture is always going to be a success?! A success in whose eyes anyways? If measured against the world's standards of success, then it will be based on results and productivity. However if measured by God's standards, wouldn't it one of obedience and faithfulness? Results, I believe, is something that God gives in reward of our faithfulness but my primary responsiblity is to be faithful. The farmer sows and faithfully tends his field, but growth and fruit-bearing is God's part. The farmer doesn't determine if it will be 30-fold, 60-fold or 100-fold harvest. That's God's perogative.
My confidence is in God to carry me through, to bring forth His plans for my life and help me walk in His will. I believe, it is equally possible that God leads me through my desires and plans. Unless He absolutely closes the door, I can assume that I am walking in His will. I know God guides me through prayerful consideration and by my keeping an open mind towards godly counsel. I am certain that God's grace is sufficient and can redeem even my worst errors as I entrust my life into His hands. Risk taken in God is really no risk at all.
I sense His voice like a father telling his child, 'Jump, don't worry. I'm here and I'll catch you'. I love Him and I know He loves me too. Like a father who believes in his child, He is inviting me to dream. To believe in Him and to surrender my dreams to Him. Therefore I am inviting Him to be part of my dreams. Yes, I have a dream but I don't want to dream apart from Him. I am also open for Him to plant His dreams within me. Sometimes I feel my dreams are too small ... and that He's got plans that are much bigger than I ever had for myself. More than anything I desire to do His will. Lord, help me discern Your will for my life. You are my Good Shepherd who will surely lead me in the path of righteousness for Your Name sake. So is there only one path? Maybe. I know I will keep on the path of righteousness for as long as I am walking with Him. My concern and focus is not on which path I should take but on Whom I am walking with.
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